Just Wandering

A few days ago a class of first grade children in Waukesha were dissapointed to be given the news that the song they wanted to sing at the school concert was too …. controversial . I dont believe I even knew what that word was when I was in first grade .

Rainbowland is the song and I’m deign to say it was banned as it’s likely that the word banned will soon be … banned , I think the new word being used today is vetoed . Anyway I’ve just read the lyrics of the song and after having done so I’m thinking anyone one who deems this to be too controversial for first graders to sing must be some kind of middle aged overly deep thinking pervert . I’m also willing to go out on a limb here and say I doubt very much that any of those six and seven year olds who were so excited to sing that catchy happy song connected it in any way to anything … controversial . But of course there is that dreaded word “rainbow” involved that might terrify any responsible parent .

Meanwhile today another school has experienced a shooting with three children and three adults dead . Apart from those directly involved I’m sure we’ll forget about this incident as quickly as we did the six year old who shot his teacher a few weeks ago in yet again another of the endless school shootings that were also quickly forgotten . I believe we have just crossed the threshold with this one and here in the United States the leading cause of death of those 19 years and younger is firearms .

However we have far more more important topics to occupy our feeble minds, like the incredibly important fight against Woke ….

I have little doubt that those parents terrified over their children singing a song titled Rainbowland sit down with the kids over the weekend and watch movies depicting unbridled violence and foul language . While here in Florida some kids can no longer watch a Disney movie titled Ruby Bridges as it’s been “vetoed” for teaching a bad example .

But Jesus … songs about togethernes and happiness …. ?

Well that shit just has to be “vetoed” for the good of us all …. and pass the ammo

The web site for the wifes medical insurance gave us the name of an allergist nearby that was in her “net” and thats where the woman behind the counter informed us she can’t just make an appointment . It requires a referral from another Doctor and she was kind enough to provide us an address .

We stopped back home to check the website again to ascertain it was in the “net” and sure enough it was . It even allowed us to make an appointment online and fill out all the pre requisite paperwork . After answering that she needs a referral to see an allergist to the question of “what is the reason for the visit ?” it provided a time and date ….

Well that time and date came and the girl behind the counter told us that as the sniffles might be involved we need to be at the office next door and she’ll send our paperwork right over there  which she imediately neglected to do . When the miniscule powers of concentration glitch got sorted out the irate Nurse Practioner whom I’m certain had a Mother that named her Ratchet informed us that they don’t do referals as they are a walk in clinic . The sympathetic Dr. came in , listened to the plight , filled out a temporary prescription and sent us happily on our way with the required referral form .

Back at the Allergists office the provider of bum addresses took the referral and deemed it “Perfect” and set up an apointment for a couple of weeks later . That was yesterday and yesterday when we arrived at that office two women with attitudes informed me that they had left messages on my phone informing that the referral can’t be accepted as it’s not from her Primary Care Doctor. They then wanted to know if there was an alternate contact number we might provide .

” Like the wifes number that you texted two days ago to remind her of this appointment ? ” I asked and got the response….

” Well we felt that would have been awkward as your wife doesn’t speak English ” bringing the response from the wife ….

” Whatta Ya Mean I Don’t Speak English ? ” ….

and to be true, that sounded a lot like English to me …… but then, I do a lot of listening .

Did ya know that here in Florida the study of the Holocaust is “mandatory” in the public school system ? Mandatory …. and I’d say being allowed to even mention that hated word in Florida to be pretty amazing as the word is so disliked . I’m sure it to be soon banned from any and all dictionaries used in the state , but we were talking of learning about the Holocaust weren’t we ?

Considering what is going on around me here in Florida at the moment I’m kind of believing the story to be worthy of a lesson and should be part of the schools lesson plan . But there is that fly in the ointment isn’t there, there always is . Like Moms for Liberty . It’s at this point we should be expecting them to start crying this is indoctrination and how no particular race should be made to feel responsibilty or guilt for sins of the past . But that is unlikely for whatever reason .

Should this indoctrination continue I think fair is fair and Mom’s for Liberty would have a point as we wouldn’t want any of our citizens of German descent to feel guilt for the past . It’s quite obvious any mention of the Aryan race henceforth should be referred to as ….”certain people”. Maybe that’s backwards , maybe it’s the Jews who should be called “certain people” in the lesson plan …..

Now I’m confused again .

I’ve never felt guilt or shame about the wrongs of my ancestry or its past history before my time though it seems important that someone is making political issue out of protecting me from it . However I have no problem in recognizing the wrongs of the past and with that in mind I must say I do feel a little shame over the present …..

We should never allow the story of Rosa Parks to simply become just a story of a lady on a bus

I was standing twenty feet down the aisle pretending to be interested in a round tube with a picture of the Pillsbury Dough Boy on it while the wife was checking out the eggs. She always opens the packages to make sure there isn’t a cracked one or two and often this means checking more than one . As she did so an elderly lady squeezesd behind her and gave the back of the wifes head a long hard glare.

The elderly then turned and caught my eye and then rolled hers skyward . As she passed me she initiated a conversation with …

” You’d think they’d show us the respect of learning our language if they are going to be here, you speak English , right ? ” she said giving the thumbs direction to the wife .

” Sometimes I do , but not always ” I replied and followed up with …

” What makes you think that woman doesn’t speak English ? ”

” Oh you can tell … you can just tell .” she informed me and then off she sauntered

The wife finally showed with a dozen uncracked and wanted to know who I was speaking to. I told her it was just a Trump woman .

” A Trump Woman … how do you know she’s a Trump Woman ? ”

” Oh you can tell … you can just tell .” … and off we sauntered .

I tend to whine a lot … why is it always me I ask ? Well today someone proved that perhaps it isn’t always me …. others obviously cop the shit as well.

Lots of men wear their loyalties for all to see on ball caps . Walk into the grocery store and half the men have baseball hats on showing past military affiliations , NRA membership , love of past Presidents and even sports teams . Like the guy in front of us at the check out this morning .

He was mumbling and grumbling at the the disinterested checkout girl and I was just as disinterested in what the man in the pretty hat had to say . My feelings at the moment was for Gods Sake pay up and move on , if ya got a whine and a piss and moan then write a blog like I do so I can get out of here . But then I caught what he was going on about .

He was crying about an online purchase that had gone wrong and suddenly he had my sympathetic ear, that of a kindred spirit and brother victim of today’s advancements and online purchases gone wrong . I asked whats up ….

” $24 bucks for a custom hat and look how they spell Miami ” he said pointing to his baseball hat .

The hat was actually a very well done example of a professional job in embroidery and at first glance I would deem it a worthy looking example of twenty four dollars well spent to display the mans loyalty to his favorite baseball team ….

The Maimi Marlins

I recall not so long ago a nice lady had emailed to ask about my blog and had a very specific question and that was ” Why do you write such drivel ? ” Short story long the communications culminated in her claiming to never read any of my bullshit again and I felt that was fair enough. Oddly she recently had another query wanting to know why I don’t post as much any more……

Well Hon , I know you’re peeking so this one is for you ….

Since we’re discussing blogs I’ll have to say that since I waste my time and yours with one there was a recent tidbit of news that caught my eye and that would be another Florida bill proposal by Sen. Jason Brodeur . The Senator wants to force blog writers who write about our Governor and Fl. Legislature to register with the state or face fines up to $2500 with stiff fee’s for continuing to do so . Since the Senator deems registering a firearm or licencing the intent to carry one is abhorrent to our freedoms and feels the answer to gun violence is more guns it’s quite obvious he does believe The Pen to be Mightier Than the Sword and therefore something to be feared .

Personally I believe we’d be a lot safer with more writers than gun carriers but being both I guess my prejudices run in two directions . The Senators reasoning on the topic brought some other questions to my mind like ….

What if an unregistered blogger wrote something flattering about the Governor ? …  would the fine be the same , or less …. or any fine at all ? and another question comes to mind like who is going to police this ? Are we going to have to set up a special Florida Bloggers Police Dept. or are we going to hand this chore over to the new but already over worked Florida Election Police Dept.?

Now that would be unfair considering how hard at work The Election Police are setting traps for would be voters and preventing bottled waters to be used in water for votes bribery scams in the election lines .

I realize Sen. Brodeur claims this to be for paid bloggers only but here in Florida it’s quite plain that dissenting viewpoints bring retribution and with that in mind I’m going to have to follow the path of caution . From here on out if I ever mention the Governor of Florida on this blog , flattering or otherwise , I’m going to call him Don …. Don ReSantis

I swear to Christ Almighty I’d love to stop flogging this deceased mare and move on to other stories but it seems I’ll be updating this particular story for the rest of my short life .
We were gearing up early this morning to head out to face the day when I caught an email informing me that my package was out for delivery and that FedEx will be dropping it off before noon . Not expecting a FedEx delivery I just knew this would be just another normality in my abnormal life .

For those not visiting this place regularly I’ll bore the others with a quick recap of an attempted purchase of a truck bed cover for an F150 that was …. tedious .

First one that arrived was too short because it was for a Dodge Ram and not an F150 . The replacement arrived with the order stating it was the appropriate bed cover for an F150 but was in fact carpeting for Crew Cab F250 from a totally different time frame . Returning that unwanted item brought the third delivery which turned to be the carpeting for a Regular Cab F250 forcing me to force the issue .

I made it quite clear on the phone , or so I thought , and in email that it was time to cancel this order in order that I might move on … yet again. And move on I did to the third vendor who did provide me with a toneau cover presently residing over the back of my pickup. Only took me two and a half months and four separate deliveries to make a successful purchase .

It’s quite plain that vendor # two is incapable of reading my emails or comprehending the spoken word because FedEx just dropped of the fifth package in this transaction and the third enabling me to re carpet a 1988 Ford F250 …..

That puts the success rate at 20 % …..

Seems we’re all talking about the dreaded Covid virus again . Not that it’s spreading devastation as it has in the past but now it’s being used for something else. A guy across the road brought a beer and sat in my garage to express his glee about the leadership in a county south of here voting in a resolution to put forth to our Governor to not only ban Covid vaccines, but confiscate them as well . Permit me a quote from that man who is a denier both of elections and diseases …..

” It should be banned , after all this IS a free state …. besides , how many people do you actually know who died from Covid ? ” that’s exactly what he said .

I remember when the Covid pandemic first started like it was yesterday and how we were pounded by opinions and how it bothered me how quickly Americans accepted statements like It’s a hoax or “They” are going to use this to micro chip us . It bugs me still that educated people in this nation absorbed and actually believed articles in media outlets the likes of The American Thinker which expounded the bile that the vaccine creates fatal blood clots in some “deep state” effort to reduce the population . And it disturbs me a great deal more that it seems so many Americans really hoped the vaccine would prove a failure for no other reason than to disparage an opposing political party .

The answer to my neighbors question above is eight .

Eight is how many people the wife and I actually know personally who died from Covid . Some were merely acquaintances and some were family. They and numerous hospitalized survivors we are personally familiar with all had something in common and that was that they either caught the disease in part to being reckless and denying or worse , the recklessness of someone around them . Not one of the eight nor the numerous hospitalized survivors had been vaccinated which brings my question

” How many people do you know that actually died of the vaccine ? ” For the wife and I the score card to date reads 8 – 0 ….. does that mean we’re winning ?

The resolution about to be put before the Governor of Florida to ban and confiscate Covid vaccines, and future mask requirements is worded with yet again more mind boggling theories. It accuses the vaccine of being a biological and technological weapon of foreign governments and clearly states we need to end this genocide now …. End This Genocide Now … The man who wrote this resolution is Dr. Joe Sansone, a political leader in Lee County Florida and a licenced Psychotherapist . I would have to say at least half of that lofty title to be quite appropriate .

Do I fear this proposal might go somewhere ? Well why would I not as I live in the Free State of Florida where high ranking school officials have lost their jobs because they had the temerity to believe that taking no chances with the health of one mothers child to be as important as the perceived freedom of a Mom for Liberties child . Elsewhere in the United States the likes of Marjorie Taylor Greene makes the news every day. She was re elected to her position in government because , as the nice neighbor mentioned above informs me …

” She represents her constituents beliefs and values ”

It worries me that no truer statement has ever been made and I hope with all hopes that America will wake up some morning and eye itself in the mirror and realize that if it ever had any intelligence at all ….. then it’s constantly being insulted .

A recent project instigated by the wife was a somewhat attractive recycled rubber boarder and appropriate rubber mulch around the perimeter of our new shed . She deemed it so successful that she successfully urged me to continue the project to other areas around the house and so regardless of past product delivery nightmares …. I made another online purchase .

The large amount of mulch wont be delivered for two weeks and I’m fine with that but the ordered SIX boxes of the rubberized curbing arrived yesterday by UPS a day before promised , all FIVE of them .

The poor driver made a feeble attempt at explaining there were only five on the order but each box had its own shipping label with tell tale hints … like box 1 of 6 and box 3 of 6 and all the way up to box 6 of 6 . Trying hard not to spit a chip I wanted to know ….

” Where the hell is box 2 of 6 ?? ” but he didn’t know

The sweet young thing working Customer Support for the seller was likely as frustrated at my lack of the Hindi language as I was . All I could garner from the poor thing in Bombay was that we will need to cancel the order for one and re order it. I politely slammed my index finger on the hangup button while disturbing the neighbors with high decibel profanity as the wife went into her “relax relax ” routine .

“Call them back ” she said ” Maybe you can talk to someone in Spanish ”

I did call back and promptly got something I barely recognized over the phone … an English speaker and he promptly informed me box 2 of 6 has been located and will arrive tomorrow . Well I guess that wasn’t as bad as things have been as of late and one would think a happy ending was about to be enjoyed . But … no

Not one of the five out six boxes contains the promised ” installation hardware included ” and so I think I’ll conclude this story here as I feel the frustration coming back and the neighbors have heard enough …..

It finally arrived and I ignored it’s presence for two days while it sat in the garage encased in the unopened shipping carton . The occasional sidelong glance I offered it as I passed by always went immediately to the torn and rumpled corner the cardboard wore like a badge of honor as do most packages that are veterans of a long Fedex Ground journey . Since the initial order went out prior to last Christmas this was the fourth box to be opened in the seemingly forlorn hope of finding inside a bed cover that fit my pick up truck …. or something that was even a truck bed cover at all .

So for two days I just couldn’t show the necessary sack and open the box to face what I felt was the inevitable disappointment yet again . I did today and my new tonneau cover now sits atop the back of my pick up truck . It fits Ok … but I’m I’m not over the moon by the quality of this item . My last tonneau was made by the same company that lauds loudly over the fact they are made in Ann Arbor Michigan with design engineering beyond the norms of the industry. This may well be true …. however ….

All the hardware is no longer made of aircraft grade aluminum like the last one but instead of plastic. They try to make me feel better with the claim of a Life Time Warranty and then offer a price list for all the plastic parts that will with out doubt ultimately give up the ghost before that “warranty” ends . But ” Made in America” means something now a days I suppose even if under those large words in small letters reads … with global materials .

Double-U …… T F !! and don’t make me word that out for you

Well here we go again with yet another update on the endless quest for for a tonneau cover for the back of my Ford f150 . I’m sure you recall that the first effort brought the purchase of one too short for my vehicle because what I received was one for a Dodge Ram . On top of which the one week shipping for my cover actually took a month . The company that sold it to me didn’t want it back and instead asked I provide pictures of that Tonneau for the Dodge all sliced up with a razor knife . I did receive my refund on the strength of the pics that obviously showed my angst .

Not to be easily dissuaded I went elsewhere and started the ball rolling all over again . The second effort was slightly more successful as the one week shipping only took eight days if you can call receiving the wrong item… again … a success. I got new carpeting for a 1988 – 96 Ford F250 instead of a tonneau for a 2013 F150 .

This time the shipper wanted the item back and promptly sent a shipping label with the request I pack it back in the original box. The nice customer support team informed me that the correct order will be shipped immediately that the Fedex tracking number shows I’ve shipped the unwanted carpet back …. that was nineteen days ago and the replacement package from them has just arrived .

Outward appearence of this package is in much nicer shape than the last one which held the tan carpet for a four door Crew Cab F250 but that was of little consequence as the contents are everything I need to re carpet a 1988-96 Ford F250 Regular Cab . I suppose this could all be construed as funny …. if only I could remember how to laugh .

I mean …. “WTF” …. no , I mean it … I mean ” WTF ” !!!

People want you to know about them and often leave signs that are sometimes in your face and other times rather subtle . When we went six blocks following an old Volvo it was clear the lady driving was heading to the same yard sale we were heading to. At the red light we could read the stickers on the back window informing us that she loves her “Labradoodle” and cats while an elderly beagle sat in the passenger seat . At risk of generalization I surmised her to be an animal lover .

The nice man holding the sale also left somewhat discrete but easy to note signs like the two little stickers on his vehicles back window. If the little gold red and black NRA Life Member sticker next to a small black silhouette of an AR 15 weren’t enough to clinch it, the “Insured by Smith & Wesson” on the front door was all I needed to risk generalizing someone again and surmise the man was a proponent of the 2nd Amendment …. just like he wanted me to.

The man had some ammo for sale and fortunately none was of a caliber I was interested in as the mother of the ancient beagle beat me to the punch destroying any generalizations I might have had about someone advertising love of Labradoodles … and cats on the back of her hippie mobile of a Volvo . While she stocked up the buyer and seller conversed on the upcoming new freedom soon to be enjoyed here in the free state Florida . Permit-less carry of concealed firearms or “Constitutional Carry” as the man described it.

Suddenly I noticed it and I’m not sure how I missed the least discrete personal symbol of them all . On plain display was the mans Permit to Hold a Yard Sale in Charlotte County . Yes, it’s true that here in the free state you are actually required to get a permit to hold a yard sale and you are allowed only two per anum . I will admit most people never bother and I’m totally ignorant of any prosecution for breaking this law here in our part of SW Florida I couldn’t help but comment on such a rare sight .

” Wow…. you actually pulled a permit for your yard sale ”

He explained how permitting helps prevent people from making a neighborhood nuisance of themselves and attracting unwanted and unsafe traffic , and no one wants that on a regular basis . His logic seemed quite sound to me while thinking the Permit was such a rare sight I figured it might one day have collectors value . I tried to buy it while Beagle Mothers Volvo left a deep rut on the neighbors front lawn on her quick escape to the next sale .

I was relieved to note there were no ” Insured by Smith & Wesson ” stickers on the neighbors door.

We seem to be preoccupied with what kids learn in school lately …. hmmpph

I was sitting on a bench outside the toilet block waiting for the wife along with another patient husband and his son when a golf cart pulled up in front of us. We had attended our favorite once a month swap meet in rural Florida where we seek vintage tools and get bombarded with peoples opinions . DeSantis 2024 and Red Trump Hats are de riguer as are Joe and The Ho tee shirts and pretty much things slide down hill from there. Like the golf cart .

The right to express an opinion is about American as the cliche apple pie … or so I thought as it was made quite plain to me today that it all depends on what side of the pie from which you take a bite . The golf cart in front of us was plastered with all the bumper stickers needed to make every attempt at being more than an expression of opinion but rather to be in your face offensive .

I didn’t really care about the stickers but the man next to me immediately raised an eyebrow as his young son read the language on all the stickers that should be learned much later in life . It was the large flag mounted to the rear on a tall pole that irritated me .

” It’s wrong ” was my comment about the flag which started out as the American Flag with the fifty stars and then morphed onto the Confederate Stars and Bars ,

” I don’t think the American flag should be part of another flag , be any other color besides red white and blue or sewn into shorts . It shows no respect ”

The driver of the cart never made it to the toilet block but instead he and his offensive cigar turned to offer the other husband and I his discourse on the topic with all the civility and intelligence he could muster before hopping on the cart and driving off with out taking his leak . He said ….

” Well Fuck All Y’all ”

This wasn’t the first time I’ve made a comment about our flag being desecrated and likely won’t be the last … no matter how offensive I may seem …..

Having been refunded for destroying an incorrect sized tonneau cover I received a month late from ETailer Inc. I moved on to another company called American Truck , also an Inc. This time my option was the whole package including the unneeded frame for considerably more money but somehow I believed their promise of a quick ship and placed my online order.

Lately I’ve been indulging a long neglected hobby and I decided to make another online purchase of some items  I didn’t currently need to indulge that hobby but they are hard to find so the time to buy is when you see em I says. They were meant to arrive three days from now if you follow the tracking numbers as I’ve become prone to do and you can well imagine my delighted surprise when they arrived today by Fedex , intact and complete.

Bigger surprise yet was the Fedex truck circled the block and stopped in front of the house again to unload a larger forgotten package from American Trucks and it only a day late having been delayed in Orlando . Finally after over five weeks to get a tonneau cover for my 2013 Ford F 150 truck bed I have it in my hand .

I couldn’t help myself and quickly opened the large box on my living room floor to check it out . And there in that large box was the complete carpet to redo the floor of a Ford 88-96 Series Pickup / Standard Cab / 2wd/4wd / Floor Shift / Diesel ….Tan .

The neighbors must be curious as it’s out there on my lawn right now where I threw it in an unprecedented rage accented by loud and frustrated language that can only be learned from a life time of blue collar work environments ….

As I type this an email has just come in asking me to “rate my experience with American Trucks Inc”  by clicking the appropriate stars …..

Like many others here in hurricane prone Florida my insurance company is leaving the state to leave us to our own devices and truth be told I can’t say I blame them . My broker told me not to worry as our Governor has his finger on the pulse and is quickly taking steps to solve the issue that many have finding coverage .

I wasn’t so sure what a Governor could actually do with a problem like this but my overly political broker seemed quite confident and in our next discussion he proudly boasted yet another conservative win in that our Governor has just signed a new bill that will help people in the same position as I .

” So, can you get me another policy ? ”

” Not yet , however the Governor has told your insurance company they just can’t leave and that they will have to extend your coverage until the end of May giving us time to find a replacement policy .”

I wasn’t so sure what a Governor could actually do to prevent my insurance company from leaving on schedule but it was at least a brief respite . Today the broker called to say that whatever it was the Governor told my insurance company the response was to pound sand and my insurance ends on schedule in two days . Turns out that as my home is over twenty five years old and lacking “all ” the necessary hurricane proof upgrades state run Citizens insurance is my only option . That means that even though I’m not in a flood zone I’ll have to purchase flood insurance and if I double my present deductible and eliminate coverage on the contents of the home and any out buildings my insurance premiums will merely double .

” You do notice we have a Democrat President ” said my broker and I admit that’s true

Guy two houses down has been renting there for nine years and he stopped to chat today. Seems his landlord has just upped his rent an extra $ 1000 a month . That’s an additional twelve large per annum for a guy who can’t come up with the first and last month plus security to find someplace else even if someplace else was available.

” Rent never jumped that high under Trump ” he said and again I admit that’s true .

But the country has far larger problems than those of he and I …

like investigating the price of Hunter Bidens art work

hhhuuummm aaaaahhh

In case you’re not sure about what that means that’s how I spell a heartfelt sigh and that heartfelt was truly well felt as the usual just keeps on going on as usual.

Finished texturing the ceiling of the newly hung drywall in the garage last week and it looks pretty good . What doesn’t look so good are the long vertical humps that have begun to appear on my newly installed roof, nor does the fact that the roofing company is dragging it’s heels over coming to have a look . Wars are never good even if you win .

Answered all the questions online to order a new tonneau cover for my “Ford F 150” . They were very specific and I had to wonder what the engine size had to do with the size of the truck bed but hey, returns are a pain in the ass for all involved so ask away . The promise of a quick ship brought a phone call three days later instead informing me that as it’s being shipped from the factory it will take three weeks . It arrived last Friday .

Unable to reach a human on the phone I emailed to inform the seller that the tonneau cover I received is four inches too short . A nice lady named Hannah finally got back to impart the fact that the cover shipped is in fact the size listed for my “Dodge Ram” .

” We’ll email you a shipping label to return it and deduct the cost from your credit ” she said

The battle over this was remarkably quick and instead they asked I provide pictures of me destroying the cover and putting it in the trash . I attached them to an email yesterday and this morning I see that I’ve received a full refund providing me with a small win for a pleasant change . However it’s now taken a full month to still not have a new tonneau cover .

The wife comes back soon from five weeks in South America and admittedly the indulgence of solitude has been truly blissful this past month while submersed in my hobbies and winning every argument in the house . I’m stunned by how quickly a month can go by and …. there go’s that heartfelt sigh again ……

Years ago I knew an elderly gentleman who spent his childhood in World War II Italy and in answer to my questions of that time he answered …

” No , we weren’t poor. We had plenty of money… there just wasn’t anything to buy. ”

The wife’s been gone for the past two weeks and I’ve used the time to aquire a different pain in the neck. I’ve finally hung the sheet rock on my hurricane damaged garage ceiling this week and as a rental sheet rock hoist was unavailable I did it the hard way earning myself an aching back and a painful pulled muscle at the back of the neck . One step closer to finishing all the projects and all that’s left is to re texture the ceiling repair .

The rental texture sprayers are available and easy enough to find it seems though the popcorn texture needed to match the rest of the ceiling is nowhere to be found in town . While ordering the needed product from Amazon I thought of a woman I had met in Appalachia years ago who had written a book about her depression era childhood in those mountains . She told me …

” Didn’t matter that we were poor and had no money … there wasn’t anything to buy .”

I needed a few sundries so headed off to Walmart this morning to seek a bag of charcoal and found only one lonely bag of a brand I didn’t like . I wanted only six eggs and found myself confronted by three choices , an 18 pack , a dozen “organic” at $7.65 and one solitary pack of six with a broken one inside . The spot where the needed super strong packing tape usually resides was empty and there was only one , not two , of my choice of new wiper blades .

The brand of shampoo I use comes in different fragrances and my favorite is apple . Given no other choice I went through the check out with but one purchase . A bottle of shampoo that smells like strawberry … .

So forget the Italian and the hillbilly … I got problems of my own

I have issues . Seemingly the entire population of the nation in which I reside has issues so I’m not exactly feeling lonely . The year has come to an end and I’m more than confident that the new one will bring us yet again another 52 weeks of an issue a week that “entertainment news” will convince us we need to be pissed off about . I do have some answers for some of the current issues though I need warn you , they are simple answers from the simple mind of a simple man.

Banning abortion seemed to hit high on the list this year and there are some easy remedies for all you over 70 geriatrics who were suddenly convinced that it was the most important issue in the world . Don’t get pregnant … don’t impregnate anyone …. adopt a child instead of whining about how much of your tax dollars go to social welfare ….. simple .

Voter fraud … can’t trust or believe in the American electoral process ? Then piss off and don’t vote and the problem is solved … simple.

Same sex marriage . If this one bothers you I might advise that you marry someone of the opposite sex , don’t say gay , don’t be gay ….. simple .

Woke … for the longest time I just didn’t even know what this was . Recently my Florida Government was kind enough to offer an explanation and now I understand less . I must be … simple .

One serious issue is that life expectancy in the United States has declined considerably over these past three years in complete opposite of many “shit hole” countries who’s life expectancy has actually increased . Two culprits being of course Covid and drug overdose . Addressing the latter first it may be easy , even fashionable, to blame a President for allowing a million immigrants to cross the border with backpacks full of fentanyl but the the answer is far simpler than that . Truth

Stop doing drugs . If you’re a user then you’re the problem and that’s the truth ….. simple .

Covid. It appears that those with Republican leanings have died of at it at a rate 74 % higher than left leaners . Shouldn’t be all that difficult to figure out . Either start believing in American scientists and medical professionals again and listen to their advice like we used to , or stop being a Republican …. simple .

Illegal immigration . This ones been an issue since before I was a child . Stop choosing politicians that do everything possible to cripple the economies of other nations in order to show the world that communism doesn’t work while constantly bull horning to the world that we’re letting everyone in …… simple .

Have you seen the price of gas !! ?? Seems we don’t like the concept of supply and demand even though that’s what our capitalist system is based on . I’ll admit to being part of this problem as my multi ton 8 cylinder pickup isn’t all that necessary as I don’t need to tow a 24 ft boat to the beach . We all could drive something more frugal …. simple .

A bigger issue is that you can fly to South America and have a surgery performed for a lot less than paying your insurance copay here. While you’re there you might want to pick up your U.S. manufactured prescription medicine at a fraction it would cost you here ….

Now that’s an issue whether or not it’s … simple

Wife and I have at very least one thing in common , that being neat and tidy actually means something to us . I might be a little fake about that because if you’ve ever looked in my sock drawer you’ll understand why I wear white socks so often . It just takes too long otherwise to find a matching set, but the room it’s in is the epitome of neat for all to see . Perhaps that’s like the interesting cover of a bad book but sometimes the facade is good enough .

Three months of viewing endless piles of trash starts to grate on the wife meaning it grates double on me and we were delighted last week when the big truck and cherry picker finally arrived to start hauling all the storm debris away from in front of all our neighbors homes . We put our money where our mouth is after the storm and quickly cleaned up our own mess and hauled it all to the dump . I was about to say we didn’t mean to be show off’s but that wouldn’t have been true as we did view it as a statement of who we are as well as a good example for all to see, we being the oldest couple on the street  . Seems no one else on the block had a statement to make apart from their Frig Biden flags so we were the only ones in the hood over those three months with out a mess. We came home that day to find all the three month old debris gone and short lived glee as two families quickly viewed it as an opportunity to use the empty space and promptly stacked two rooms of furniture street side . Fortunately this time it was gone within a mere five days.

Yesterday was Christmas Eve which happens to be five days from trash day and we watched the lady across the street pull a chair out of the house to deposit it on the curb . Torn and chewed and likely covered in Bulldog barf and urine I and just couldn’t seem to grasp why it didn’t just stay in the back yard until trash day . This morning is Christmas morning and we’ve just looked outside to notice that chair is now decorating the street with it’s twin .

I suppose I’ll just have to view it as a statement of who they are . That’s the way it is I guess and little is completely fair as they get to look across the street at us…. and we have to look across the street at them ….. and their two disgusting Christmas decorations

I remember when Bill Clinton denied having sex with that woman . Turned out that he did in fact receive a blowjob from that young slut right there in the White House and she was ready to prove it with year old sperm on a dress she hadn’t laundered in all that time .

Personally as a red blooded American male I may have envied his rather unique experience it being in the White House and all . As a responsible citizen of the United States however I did think it an impeachable offense on Bill’s part as any President that puts himself in a position of possible black mail is a threat to national security . I don’t know a single fellow conservative that disagreed with me on that … then or now.

But now those same conservatives with more than one face have nothing to say about all those stolen files stashed unlawfully in a particular residence and storage unit whether they be marked Classified or Top Secret . Nothing to say now about the threat to our national security that this obviously irresponsible action brought except to criticize Federal law enforcement for doing their job . Considering how obvious and blatant the evidence is I would like to be the first to start the chant ….

Lock him up ! Lock him up ! Lock him up !

What’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander is what they used to say, but not any more as it seems our next important political agenda is nothing more than revenge . After two years of conservative possession it seems our next important agenda for the benefit of the American people is that we are finally going to investigate the contents of Hunter Biden’s laptop . It’s already been leaked that it’s contents have proved what we already know and that being he might have been a substance abuser . Nothing to date after those two years has come to show illicit business dealings so that leaves one more item to embarrass the other side…..

It’s been hinted there may be pics of porn on Hunters laptop and we just may get to see

“Hunter Biden’s Dick Pics” ….

Holy shit, just imagine it !   I’ll tell you what …. If Trump can make a quick $ 4.5 million from NFT pics sold online of poorly photo shopped pics of his head on a Superman suit just think of this …..

How much money could Hunter Biden make of non photo shopped NFT pics of his “head” on the internet .

McCarthy could be doing Hunter the greatest favor of all time… perhaps he’a an investor

I’ve just had “one of those weeks” two weeks in a row and I just can’t seem to disguise the irritation . The wife keeps telling me I need to relax … Implication being to stop my whining because both God and I know she can’t possibly mean sit down and take a break type of relax .

Unable to find a fascia and soffit professional to repair our storm damages I’ve opted to do it myself and as we’re unable to locate materials locally I’ve also opted for an online purchase of them with a $79 delivery fee. Fair enough , one would think , but the delivery that didn’t arrive one week later was deemed a failed attempt as no one over 18 was present to sign for it . That’s what the Big Box store Rep. said when I complained over the phone . I explained, almost politely, that if he could see my hair color he’d understand why I could smell his breath over the phone as he was talking out his ass . Delivery was rescheduled for the following week and a week later it did arrive …. most of it anyway .

After three months of refilling the slow leak on the front passenger side of the F 150 I finally got off my relaxing ass and had it seen to. Two days later I drove over a piece of metal with a nail in it to successfully puncture the front driver side tire. Fortunately it waited until we got home before it went completely flat. ” Relax” said the wife, ” You know how to fix it.”

Tire plug kits have a round rasp in order to clean the puncture and prep it for a plug and my rasp entered the puncture deep before the handle snapped off at which point I completely stopped relaxing as I glared at the handle-less rasp protruding from the Goodyear .

The new radio I just installed in the vehicle to replace the dead one was purchased because I’m a flip phone guy and this one was touted as simple to use . As a flip phone aficionado I’m here to explain that that any radio with 420 different settings to play with along with the need to know what amount of hertz is good for my taste in bass and treble is beyond simple . While figuring it out I blew a speaker in the rear door forcing me to relax to the sounds emanating from the other three while that one buzzed like a honey bee.

When the soffit and fascia arrived the other day the driver spied my hair color and allowed me to sign for everything except the items missing from my order . I started the project yesterday and removed the shrink wrap to discover the damaged items which yet once again brought the advice that I need to relax . While installing it I learned that the roofers who recently installed the new roof had neglected to remove the protruding nails from the previous fascia before covering them with the new drip edge creating a hell on earth scene as I tried to install the new fascia under the drip edge. At this point even the neighbors stopped relaxing .

The project did reach a successful completion today and the wife said …..

” Relax …  we can shop for sheet rock to replace the garage ceiling tomorrow  “

This early morning actually started well over three months ago when my low tire pressure warning light on the Ford dash came on . I suppose I’ve become something of a procrastinator as every 17 days for the past three months I’ve broken out the compressor and refilled the right front slow leaking tire instead of just getting it seen to.

The nearby Ford dealership here in town has a very convenient system known as “The Fast Lane ” in front of its service department which opens at 7 a.m. for those with no appointments , it’s first come first served and by 6:30 a.m. I was already third in line with six more early birds behind me. The Ford employees were quite punctual and efficient and by 7:10 a.m. all ten customers had found comfortable seats in which to sit and stare unblinkingly at phones.

As I sat there phoneless I remembered when people in waiting rooms all sat together to quietly read magazines the likes of People or Time and so I got up to address the stack of mags on the table . Through the glow of all the phone’s in use I could see the film of dust over the top of this neatly stacked and seemingly long undisturbed time capsule .

It being cleaner I chose the mag second from the top and I was entertained by an interesting article or two about the history of Jamestown Va. until I flipped the page to notice a political comment forcing me to stop and check the publish date on the cover …… May, 2007 and I had to laugh and comment about the age of the magazine to the man on my left .

When he ignored me I made the same comment to the man on my right who almost raised an eyebrow with out tearing his eyes from his miniature screen. The lady who was second in line managed to provide me a three second glare however in an expression of disturbance . By now I was starting to get the hint that waiting rooms have become something like Libraries with that permanent ssshhhh and so went back to my silent perusal of ancient history .

That’s when the silence was shattered by the ringing phone of number seven in line and the whole room was then privy to an eight minute phone call about getting an oil change and going out for breakfast afterwards. I felt at this time I might be worthy of offering a glare but it didn’t seem to bother anyone else …. hmmph, guess it’s just me .

One things for sure, that 15 year old Time magazine has lasted a lot longer than that mans $600 phone ever will, and a hell of a lot more interesting than conversations about oil changes and pancakes at IHOP .

The wife and I do enjoy our weekly drives around the local countryside on our never ending hunt for antiquities and treasures at local garage and estate sales . We’ll gleefully travel near or far on the hope or chance of finding something of interest …. meaning high resale value .

Apart from the vehicle there is another tool I’ve come to rely on in our endeavors more and more as time goes on . A magnifying glass became necessary in order to seek those makers marks hidden beneath the age and grime of old tools and as of late I’ve been forced to graduate to a more powerful jewelers loupe to read even clear and unhidden marks .

I just discovered that an item I recently purchased wasn’t marked Sheffield as I thought when I acquired it but instead was marked Shelley and I thought crap … I gotta get a new prescription . Now along those lines I renewed my drivers licence last week and it required a vision test and on a whim I asked if I could try it without my glasses first .

” You did great , you passed ” said the tester and promptly issued my licence with out the “corrective lens needed” printed on the bottom and I might confess this alarmed me a little as it got me thinking there must be an awful lot of people on the roads around here with some chronically impaired vision .

I started to wonder about all those people who don’t drive off when the light turns green and the possibility that they simply don’t see it . Or are busy petting their seeing eye dogs . I know the next time I’m stopped for an infraction I’ll likely need my magnifying glass to view the cops badge and there’s nothing he can say . Under the necessary magnification of my magnifying glass I can find no requirement on my drivers licence that I wear glasses to operate a motor vehicle .

Oh…  the one dollar Shelley tool turned out to be a part of a tool kit from a 1940’s MG and worth fifty bucks ….. even a blind pig finds an acorn now and again

Taxes …. there is that dreaded word again . This time of the year it’s property taxes as here in my Florida county you can save yourself four percent of your annual bill if you cough up a couple of months early . Sounds great, but when it comes to taxes there is always that “however” part that needs factoring in …..

We recently heard that our county will not be raising the property tax rate this year and on the surface one would think that sounds pretty good . Being past victims of tax breaks “however” this information just put a fear induced ball in the pit of my stomach . It reminded the Wife and I of the time the Federal Govt. promised us lower income taxes and fewer reg’s at the same time new reg’s caused us to pay more taxes … funny how that works . The following year when they promised further income tax cuts my wife questioned if I thought we could afford another tax break … and the answer was no .

Anyway , I’ve just finished perusing my online property tax bills and payments over the past thirteen years that I’ve owned the house before writing the check and for truth my tax rate did not go up this year . However…. there’s that word again …. they did increase the value of my home instead thus increasing my annual tax bill just like every single year since I bought the house .

Now we’re told someone is promising to fix Florida’s property insurance problem and there’s that fear induced ball in the pit of the stomach again as I doubt I’ll be able to afford that fix any more than I can a tax break …..

Was an interesting day all things considered as the roofers appeared to finish the roof and I’m now sitting dry in the house while the rain falls. Also had an appointment with the Florida Dept. of Safety and Motor Vehicles to renew my drivers licence and obtain the now required by law “REAL I.D.” My new Florida drivers licence now sports a little gold star on the upper right hand corner to prove I’ve jumped through the hoops to prove I’m actually me .

On the way there I noticed not one but two ramshackle pick up trucks both flying those giant Donald Trump flags mounted on poles attached to the bumper in honor I suppose of the big announcement the night before. That’s what they were talking about on the radio I put so much effort into fixing last weekend when suddenly …pop …the radio died again. I thought that appropriate and instantly hoped the radio wasn’t the only thing to die but I guess you can’t have it all.

The nice young lady at the DMV meticulously studied all the documents I had on hand before I received my gold star . I provided her my previous drivers licence , passport , deed to the house, water bill, Report of Foreign birth to an American Parent certificate and Social Security card . While they made copies of all the proof I had of being an American most of my life I thought about how my Colombian wife got her gold star simply by renewing on line.

Spied another Trump flag on the way home and it made me wonder why Mr. Trump would even bother going through the process of an election in the first place. Seems it would be far more expedient for him to just double down per usual, gather up a bunch of friends that are proud to be boys or pretending to keep an oath …. and just storm the capitol again .

That’s what they do in other third world countries and we’ve already proven it to be acceptable here . Just like a roof….. ya pay for what ya get