Just Wandering

Heard an awful lot about Parental Rights here in Florida the last few years . Parental Control , Parental Choice …. but not so much about parental responsibility. A neighbor recently asked me If I thought she was too soft on her 19 yr. old son who’s never had a job, mowed a lawn or driven the car she bought him for his 18th birthday, instead indulging a marathon of video games and vacations . I think she might of been insulted when I said “Yes I Do” but then perhaps she shouldn’t have asked the question . We’ve recently fired a school teacher here in Florida because two parents couldn’t accept the parental responsibility over the fact their child can’t decide whether to be called an Artha or Martha in school and need to lay blame elsewhere costing an educator her job and us an asset to the community . And we could use all the help we can get from people with the skill of teaching people to read ….

Along those lines I’ll stand with any parent who feels that sexually explicit reading materials have no place in public schools because they don’t. But I’m thinking that the ban on those type of books has served as an excuse to change the words in history books and give false impressions in order to ban reading materials that are not of a sexual theme and that is another matter all together. Which brings me to what I want… forget parental choice, I want Grillers Choice … that’s right … grillers choice.

I’ve always loved my charcoal grill but the necessary change to a more heart healthy diet has forced the issue. The long low and slow rib’s and endless fatty pork and sausages day’s have waned and it has become too inconvenient and even costly to spark up the charcoal for the short time required to grill a fish fillet or a couple of skinless chicken thighs . We brought the new gas grill home last week and of course chose the free assembly model and immediately parked it next to the beloved charcoal burner and tried it out. I did have a question or two on it’s operation and so of course consulted the supplied owners manual. Twelve pages cover to cover of very explicit operating instructions with but only one single solitary word in the English language … Weber.

Where is my choice on what I get to read … or don’t ? … perhaps I shouldn’t ask the question …. perhaps we need better teaching of reading skills

It was after 5 p.m. and the incoming phone number started with an 850 so I knew I really didn’t want to answer it. Considering that I rarely answer the phone from friends I’m quite surprised with myself over the fact that I did …. here’s what I got ….

” Hello, my name is Michelle and I’m with the Dept. of Health and Human Services and we’re doing a survey on health and would like to ask you a few questions. Now could you ……”  and that is as far as I permitted Michelle to get

” I’m sorry Michelle but the current President of the United States has made it quite clear I cannot trust Government Employees. With that in mind please pass the word that I no longer trust scientists or medical professionals and I promise to never get vaccinated again and will instead dutifully consume cod liver oil. ”

I’m not sure if Michelle thought that at all funny as I didn’t give her the opportunity to respond before I hung up . You see, I’m a foreign born who once had a tattoo and if Michelle is still a current government employee , well she just might be a spy …  and I could end up in El Salvador just to help get the deportation numbers up …. can’t chance it

Well what an interesting day. Something of great importance to us all has just been attended to by our President. While all our friends have grown to hate us the war that could be ended in one day still rages three months later and half the nation now sits semi comatose having just watched their 401Ks vaporize the man sat down and attended to something that I’m certain will be a great relief to us all . Out came the famous Sharpie Pen to sign yet again another executive order. This one has to do with shower heads … that’s right, shower heads ….

Obviously not having anything more important on his mind Mr. Trump explains that he has to stand in the shower for 15 minutes just to get his cotton candy hair wet because Biden regulated the water pressure . Must be a bitch being a billionaire and still having to deal with a problem like that. I know I don’t have his problem in my humble little home that cost less money than one of his wife’s Birken hand bags …. one of my showers is powerful and the other has water pressure that actually hurts …..

I’m thinking maybe he should’t have stiffed his plumber on the bill for the last visit…. but I will concede that it sounds better blaming Biden…..

Oscar is a rather typical resident of a somewhat lower income neighborhood in the city of Cartago Colombia in that he struggles with the rent, sometimes can’t afford a meal and stresses over the cost of a new used shirt even though still a working man deep into his 70’s . And for all that he seems a happy guy and laughs a lot and is always quick with a joke or story. There are things about him than’t aren’t so typical as well. At over 6 ft. tall Oscar towers over everyone as he walks the barrio and one evening years ago when he came to join us at the corner for a beer and stories I discovered that he and I have something in common apart from beer and stories.

On that evening we noticed that the condition of Oscars shoes were so poor it was doubtful they’d survive the walk home and my wife discreetly asked his shoe size. Poor Oscar takes a size 9 1/2 shoe and that is a problem in most areas of Colombia as it seems so few native Colombian men have feet larger than size 8. I know this as I’m a 9 1/2 and find it a difficult size to locate in Colombia. So the wife slipped back to the house to return with a bag containing a pair of my twice worn rather quality slip on loafers and with straight face explained to Oscar that I can’t wear them as they hurt my feet. And so that’s how it started

Once or twice a year ever since Oscar receives a pair of 9 1/2s from the United States because they hurt someone’s feet. That small expenditure that makes such a big difference to someone doesn’t change a thing in our lives one bit and the wife and I go with out nothing because of it. Recently someone “involved” in our government stated that empathy is a weakness of western civilization and even Christian leadership has been stating empathy is the work of the devil …. wow. Meanwhile as we cut off all aid to other country’s and sent no assistance to Myanmar’s disaster our leadership has us all worked up about the need to bring the wealth back to America. We’re getting ripped off he says …

Last weekend a number of people who believe in the need to return the wealth to America and put an end to our getting ripped off attended a fund raising candle light dinner with the President of the United States with a minimum donation of One Million Dollars per plate . I’m betting that no couples who attended that candle light dinner at One Million Dollars a plate were seen sharing one of those plates either as they are expecting  something. And I’m betting again  they are expecting something more than just a feel good moment for doing something worthwhile

Don’t vorry Komrade Amerikans , still available to you at original tariff price is plenty Russian Vodka. And borscht !   Borscht made from finest Russian beets requiring no immigrant labor to harvest and fertilized with highest grade penguin guano available . You too can live happy life like Russian and learn to harvest your own beets in between bouts of acute alcoholism with no need for messy communism….. such better life than wasting it lounging by pool ….. Who needs wealth when we have borscht and vodka … ?

Once in a while I get the feeling that someone from the past that I’ve never known has reached into the future like a time traveller to place a small gift my way, like just the other day.  I purchase a lot of old machinist tool chests filled with the tools of the trade that generally once belonged to a machinist that has long retired. More often than not they have languished out in the garage for decades before a widow decides it’s time to part with them. There is no denying the truth that the major goal of this is to resell for monetary reward though I’m not the only one to gain. The previous owner gets their asking price along with room in the garage for more stuff, the people that purchase from me get good quality usable tools that are far cheaper than new, and I make money while having fun and so all is good.

These tool chests are very often time capsules filled with hints of the past and each has it’s own personality similar to their previous owners. Open the drawers of some and find the interior spotlessly clean with all the tools neatly stored in their original boxes while others may be a jumbled mess of tools stored willy nilly and grimy with oils and grease. There may be a photo or two of a young woman in a print dress or bell bottom jeans posed in front of a 1963 Buick or 1972 Chevelle taped to the inside of the lid or a pinup girl when they know their wives will never access their work space . Matchbooks advertizing long gone motels with a name and phone number inked on the inside, note’s reminding the machinist to pick up milk and bread on the way home and receipts for work dated anywhere from the 1940s to 1980s. Old coins and other small treasures …. and more

The most recent tool chest had a drawer filled with brass plumbing fixtures and though not all that common a find in one of these boxes it wasn’t a surprise either. I moved on to inventory more lucrative drawers filled with tools and only when finished did I begin to discard the brass fittings. Suddenly there it was … the most exquisite pot puffer marijuana pipe I have ever seen. It truly is a well engineered work of art with a detachable stem and bowl cleaner and a removable stash storage . The obviously well used bowl itself has a little rotating cover over the top with a PP stamped into it and that was the first hint to get me on yet another Google research project.

Who knew the PP would stand for the manufacturers name … Proto Pipe . Turns out that Proto Pipe has quite a cult following as a web site explains that to tell if your Proto Pipe is genuine or counterfeit you must remove the stash container to see if there is an address and zip code stamped inside . Apart from some 30 year old ” stash ” there is indeed an address and zip code stamped inside a recess in the bowl making this one the real deal … so to speak. Next phase of research showed they are still being made right here in the USA and as this one is the Proto Pipe Deluxe model it comes with a current new price of $149.00 plus shipping and tax . Still further research shows that vintage ones are quite popular and one just like this one recently sold on Ebay for a $124.95 …..

What a nice little gift from a long passed time traveller ….

I’ve been pushing myself a little harder on my regular walks past the chain of ponds lately by walking faster and even a little further. I like to claim I actually have been enjoying it and that would be true but only to a point. There are others that walk the same path regularly and we all have something in common besides the love of the outdoors . It’s the futile hope of tossing the anchor out of the speeding boat of advancing age.

Turtles in the ponds are on the move lately, the fish population seems to have doubled and the rabbits have made a comeback from their mysterious disappearance to sit by the path and watch humans pass. Bottle brushes are blooming as are the white waterlily’s and more bird species have arrived from who know’s where … lot’s more bird species. And today I saw my favorite yet again , the vivid red Cardinal though I caught no sight of his mate that he kindly introduced me to a week or so ago. He flew across my path and in an instant was gone and while I may claim I’m not a superstitious man I do enjoy the old saying that the Cardinal brings luck. Some cultures lay claim he brings abundance and perhaps they mean abundant life so perhaps I should embrace superstitions after all.

Shortly after the Cardinal sighting two large blackbirds flew over head to perch together on an electrical wire and as they did a large gooey white and green glob nailed me directly over the left breast. One of the black bastards shit on me and so thanks for nothing Cardinal. There are some who claim this to be an omen of good luck as well since the odds of it ever happening are considered very slim. As it has happened to me on numerous occasions over the years I’m just going to have to ignore this superstition and just stick to the honest facts …… I just keep getting shit on …..

Well I pulled two of the eggs worth .75 cents each out of my two dozen hoard and put them on the boil as I toasted a couple of Ciabatta rolls this morning.While the eggs were finishing their boil I smeared the rolls with the last of my pre tariff avocados , added a tomato slice and when done sat down to a rich guys home made breakfast that damn near cost what it would have at Panera bread a couple of years ago. Then I perused the internet for the availability of German made .22 calibre ammo that my German made rifle likes so much.

Why German ammo you may well ask, why not buy American? Well it’s simple. Those who are even mildly serious about accuracy will be using .22 caliber ammo sourced from either Germany or Great Britain due to superior quality, hence greater accuracy. Competitors on both sides of the pond will be using the European stuff as in all truthfulness …. American made .22 ammo is junk. So I believe it should be easy to understand how in this particular case there might be a trade imbalance. In simple terms using simple logic… we want their stuff more than they want ours and fairness be damned. To be true I wasn’t surprised to find that all German made ammo has been sold out by every ammo seller that I’m aware of as of yesterday’s tariff scare and that’s OK as I’m more than amply stocked with my favorite German and British ammo. But if it was available it seems it might just make for a a sounder financial investment than the stock market purchase you made two months ago.

Now using the excuse of illegal border crossings and drug smuggling to put tariffs on Canada is a bit of a stretch in my mind as I’m more than certain that most of that is going on at our southern border. Even if this does lead to fewer cases of people and drug smuggling on the Canadian border we’ll now have to deal with smuggled maple syrup and hockey pucks. Mexico may prove a different story but fair is fair. Drugs do come across that border for no other reason than Americas insatiable appetite for them and for sure many a life is ruined because of it. Mexico has a different problem in that it appears to have an insatiable appetite for guns smuggled across the border from the United States and I’m here to tell you that a .223 round through the skull is just as detrimental to one’s health as a fentanyl overdose . Would we not consider this fair and free trade ? ….

just musing that all of this can only mean one thing . Tariffs are  gonna cost me …

So how on God’s presently green earth can we keep up with it all ? The endless and constant barrage of issues is relentless and we’re going into a a second solid month of this with no end in sight. We’re bombarded by everything from measles and 150 year olds collecting social security being hunted down by 19-20 year old “engineers” with thumb drives. The poor guy paying his mortgage and feeding his kids on a government job gets kicked to the curb with thousands of his workmates who suddenly finds themselves considered an enemy of the people. Meanwhile the politest friends we’ve ever had are booing our national anthem at sporting events and the ever respectful Norwegians are refusing to refuel our military ships . Our “national representative” has proclaimed on world wide television that the leader of Ukraine is a dictator and responsible for starting the war while America now supports the one nation on the planet that has tried to hurt and hinder her and sided with our foes 100% of the time since before I was born. Way to go America, let’s tell the Ukraine one more time how disrespectful they are and how they should show diplomacy while grovelling more before we slice her throat for not providing dirt on Biden.

So… measles . Rather interestingly appropriate that we have an outbreak amongst anti vaccers with the top vaccine conspiracy theorist in charge but actually there is something about Kennedy’s agenda that we should be agreeing with . Better health through exercise and improved diet and having recently worked on this myself I’m here to attest to it’s benefits. Even Kennedy’s buddy Ramaswamy or whatever that guy’s foreign sounding name is has chimed in to support . He’s on the internet now saying … ” Start physical education as early as kindergarten and bring back the presidential fitness test and promote more natural foods. ” The best way to save money on health costs is to foster a healthier population in the first place he says. All of this I do agree with…. but then I agreed with this concept the first time someone brought it up…..

Back in 2010 Michelle Obama announced the “Let’s Move” program to fight childhood obesity involving physical education starting in kindergarten, healthy eating and improved access to healthy affordable foods including growing your own . The right wing news went batshit bonkers in outrage and handed her black ass back to her. Fox News openly mocked the vegetable garden she grew at the White House and Rush Limbaugh continued on by claiming it to be “government overreach and Soviet style communism not to mention indoctrination through Chinese exercise drills,” . Rush incidentally, ended up with the Presidential Medal of Freedom for his “service” to our nation just before his fat ass died early from a life of cigarettes and junk food. Maybe we’ll listen better now that it’s a Republican telling us all this .

What else ?…. Ah here’s an interesting one … The Trump Gold Card. For 5 million smackeroos in U.S. currency foreigners would be permitted to obtain American citizenship and I’m curious about this as I got to thinking that if you have enough cash on hand to pay this kind of entrance fee how much more of an improvement does your life really need? The idea of course is they would bring money and invest and that of course creates jobs . Heaven knows that in my neck of the woods there still might be room to invest in a few more car washes and storage units with maybe another failing luxury hotel or two which just might attract enough workers to fill the endless half empty apartment complexes that have mushroomed all over the place. My thoughts on all this are that you can come here with all the money in the world but if you aren’t able to pick lettuce and tomato’s you’re just another guy taking up my space …

…. there’s so much more , where do you start… where does it end ….. at least there are a lot less people pouring across our border and eating our pets now …. and don’t forget ,
America gets what it deserves

Thursday was just one of those days and I let it irritate me …. The estate sale had a sign up sheet at the gate that blocked entry to the property and 150 names were on it before things got going and the sale began . A small group of regulars banded together amidst those 150 people to socialize during the 1/2 hour wait along the roadside. I was pleased at how many of them sought me out to ask after the wife and say they hoped she’d be back soon.There we were all 150 crowded out there on the sidewalk and spilled out on the street when an SUV pulled up and the driver called out …

” Hey, what’s going on ?”

As I enjoy my own humor and not desiring any more competition for the sale items I said

” We’re protesting , we want our Government jobs back ” and off he drove with out a word but one of my fellow estatesaler’s in the crowd had something to say ….

” Government workers … fuck them, they’ve been screwing us for years ”

So that’s it really, isn’t it? The government employees are just the latest offered threat and objects used to instill fear, or to be feared, just one more thing to be unhappy about. I think it a shame we couldn’t have offered those Americans even some slight hint of respect instead of being informed they are no longer employed in an email. An email on a Saturday night for Chrissake and then be described as “really bad” people on national television. All in the name of making America great again and the need to scrape up enough cash to offer another large corporate tax break.

I left that sale to attend another and while waiting my turn at a busy 4 way stop sign I spied a guy erecting a sign on his lawn. First impulse was to groan as I thought we had finally gotten past all those political lawn signs… but wait … it was a hand painted Ukraine flag with big letters underneath … I STAND WITH UKRAINE … and he returned in kind when I gave him a toot and a hearty thumbs up. Ukraine. The country we’ve all just been told is to blame for it’s own brutal invasion as a way of making ourselves feel better as we stick a knife in her back. I got to thinking about that and how America has just finished wiping its ass after shitting on every country that has stood with us right or wrong and put soldiers on the ground with ours and flushed our honor down the toilet with it .

Now we have skinned knee’s and a foul taste in our mouths because our lips are wrapped around the cock of the leadership of a nation that has made every effort to harm us since before I was born. But that’s ok… isn’t it ? …. so long as it’s all in the effort of making America great… again. I came home after all that to find a plain white envelope in the mail box addressed to R. and my mispelled last name with a short note

” You should self deport ”

I’m not so sure what to make of that as it was addressed to me and not the wife and my immigrant status isn’t quite as obvious as hers. Perhaps it’s just a prank from someone I know or maybe an irate neighbor since I do live on a Maga street ….. or maybe it’s just someone trying to offer some very good advice

I’ll confess it’s my own fault that it takes me all day. Whereas in a past life I may have been the most organized construction foreman on the planet I completely fall apart with sock drawers, tool boxes and important paper work. Even with the help of the online tax service I use which thankfully saved so much of my information from the previous year an entire day was spent doing my taxes. A large portion of the day was spent looking up forgotten passwords for accounts, medical insurance providers, Social Security and I.R.S among others including the online tax service I use. Last year I vowed I wouldn’t go through this shit again and compiled a little book of all the necessary passwords and for the life of me have no idea where I hid it. So it’s a case of accessing the links sent to the email and answering secret questions before typing in the code sent to the phone and then be told that changing the password to the current password is not permitted…. let’s not even touch on the fact that some of the answers to the secret questions were not readily available either.

Like many I pay towards Tax Day on a quarterly basis but this year those payments were pared right down with the thought that I just might cop a break with the rather large out of pocket medical expenses that so effectively bled a bank account into near throes of death. Well, to my dismay at the end of the day I still owe a few bucks. Not enough to break out into a sob mind you , just enough to feel a sting and since I have until April 15 to pay I got to thinking about my options. We do have options here in America , we have plan B’s and perhaps more of them now than ever before. One option would be to become a multi millionaire CEO of a corporation and enjoy unneeded tax breaks ” Like no one has ever seen” …. hmmm, that might work …. if only I had the time … or

Or I could just refuse to pay. Perhaps I could refuse to pay and when confronted storm the nearest I.R.S. building and smash the doors and windows while loudly bellowing the belief that the I.R.S. is a corrupt organization run by Radical Left Wing Lunatics. Add in the oath of undying loyalty to the ruler and using today’s new found standards of American justice I’d receive my pardon and get off scot free. Why shouldn’t this work?

Back to reality now …. I know that if I did that and received my pardon and all the honors to go with it that one day in the future I’d slip . I’d likely drop my guard and carelessly allow a spy overhear me complaining of the fish kills and red tide on our beaches along the ” Gulf of Mexico ” and everyone would know I’m not a true maga. Maybe it’s just safer to pay the tax bill …… it would certainly be more honorable …..

I like birds . Decades ago when I spent lot’s of time in England “birds” was a slang term for young women along the lines of their American counterparts commonly known as “chicks”. I’m not sure how that all came to be but it may possibly have some correlation to eggs and eggs is a touchy subject right now . Anyway, I’m talking about those out there in the wild type birds that come to enjoy the bird baths in my back yard even though there seems to be a lot fewer of them visiting these past couple of years. Now I have to leave the house to seek them out elsewhere like the path along the ponds I frequently walk .

Now to be sure not all “birds” are likeable just like their human namesakes . Some are ugly with piercing eyes , incredibly long beaks and seem to walk with their knees on backwards, some are just plain and some are beautiful and I have a present favorite. The male Cardinal if males are allowed to say they like something male in the present political environment , and lately on my morning walks I’ve been seeing a pair of them flitting away as I approach. I’ve always been told that sighting one brings luck but I’m told lots of things that have no factual origins . The male in his fiery red feathers is easy to spot . He’s handsome and demands attention and that’s his job in order to keep his plainly feathered mate safe as she more easily blends into the scene nearby while all eyes are on him. This morning I was gifted something more than luck by the cardinal, I was given an introduction .

Today for the first time ever in my life I saw the Cardinal and his mate perched together as they sat on a low shrub 20 yards ahead and watched as I approached . When I arrived upon them they flew ahead to again sit together on another low hanging branch 20 yards ahead and watched and waited for my arrival yet again. This happened three times before suddenly like nothing had ever happened the lives of the three of us went back to life as normal. She went back to blending in and he went back to darting back and forth and living life as the most obvious decoration on the Christmas tree . And I kept walking

There are some who’ve managed to retire and turn their idleness into an art form of constant endless days of similarity. Turn on the coffee pot and settle into some countless hours of television before going outside to sit and watch traffic . I’m not sure I understand where people can find the time to just do nothing . Mondays are my kick start day of the week and this one past was no exception. Mondays are the day I ship out most of the items I’ve sold on the internet and so an early visit to the Post Office and sometimes Fedex shipping center is always in order .

The packages were dumped in the drop off bin at the post office and I’d just completed my semi-daily 1 and 3/4 mile long power walk along the chain of lily pad covered ponds when I noticed I had enough time to make it up to MalWart to pick up some pre tariff socks and underwear and still make it to Fedex by the 9 a.m. opening . Now, if you’ve ever lived in an area that’s prone to natural disasters you’ll understand the feeling of walking into a store to be confronted by something you don’t recognize as it seems so abnormal, even a little frightening . I’m talking large swaths of empty shelves . Generally around here those shelves would have held drinking water and toilet paper but this one was a little different.

Small miracle in that my size and color choice of socks and underpants were in stock and I snagged a pack of each before heading over to groceries for a few sundries. Sixteen hours away from the promised Canadian Tariffs and I noticed that MalWart had already tagged an extra dollar to the price of a four pack of Canadian Moosehead Ale as I passed by on the way to the egg shelves . Here I found two bickering women.

” I had my hand on them first ” said one

” But you put them back down ” said the other

What they were talking about was the last remaining carton of $5.29 a dozen eggs on endless shelves whose only other option offered was four remaining cartons of $ 7.29 a dozen eggs . Walmart had put up a sign expressing apologies for the inconvenience but they were all out of eggs . I was thinking this is a lot better than running out of toilet paper when another man and his scowl appeared and said with volume ….

” What the Fuck ”

As he and I along with the losing lady each reached for a dozen of the unaffordable orbs I mentioned the possibility that in all likely hood chickens don’t have green cards and perhaps they all got deported as well as those who would have gathered their eggs . I don’t believe either of them saw the slightest humor in that and rushed off with out a word . Leaving that one lonely carton of eggs behind I headed to the vegetables while I could still afford an avocado

Well poor poor Elon is certainly getting a lot of flak these past few months and perhaps we should all just hold on a bit and try to be just a little fair . Having made and is presently still making multi billions of dollars in U.S. Government contracts Elon opted to kick back a few Million of those hard earned dollars to the Presidential campaign of his favorite candidate so why should we not expect he get a few little perks back for that ? Since we’ve got the truth justice and American way part of our history out of the way it seems we may now happily embrace our true American ethos of Money Talks and Bullshit Walks .

So, let’s get back back to fairness. After such sizable monetary donations why should we not consider it normal that Elon gets invited in on conference calls between our current President and foreign leaders? After all he has been given a position of power to advise our Government and I’m betting that the Government Dept. that has the responsibility of Government contract payments will become the most efficient department in all bureaucracy and I’m more than certain he’s quite capable in that regard.

And why shouldn’t we expect he be invited to give a speech at the presidential inauguration and offer us thanks like it was he who just got elected ?

Which does bring us to the latest flak being tossed his way doesn’t it ? The gesture … you know …. “that” gesture performed before the entire televised planet. Now their are many critics who were quick to tell you that the gesture looked exactly like what it was . Defenders however were just as quick to explain that no … it wasn’t a Nazi salute at all , it was an ancient Roman salute. I don’t know about you but that makes me feel a whole lot better as I can’t help but feel that a “Heil Hitler” salute would seem to be so inappropriate . I’m much more comfortable going with the salute pagan Roman soldiers offered their brutal slave owning rapist tyranical leaders all those centuries ago.

” Hail Sleazer ” has a much more appropriate ring to it

so let’s cut poor Elon a bit of slack shall we? after all, he’s just a guy trying to get by just like me and you

I have a lot of ” What Ifs ” bouncing around in my head right now . Like… what if a lot more people had a lot of what ifs bouncing around there heads right now ? It might actually be a bit refreshing in comparison to the the years of ” What About “.

” What If ? ” Just a simple two word question that might take 30,000 words to answer or merely a What About deflection.

“What if” … what if you accessed the Ring door bell camera app on your phone to witness me taking out all the windows of your lovely car out in the drive with a bat . “What if” I did the headlights as well and “what if” I crumpled the hood just for good measure ? Well you’d call the Police right away and rightfully so . But “what if” you were told I was being treated unfairly. ” What if ” you were told with zero proof that I might have been urged to do this by another neighbor and ” What if ” you were told that the man across the street won’t allow access to his Ring camera and that might possibly shed a whole different light on the issue by showing something different ? …. yeah, ” what if ”

” What if ” you and your ugly car were then told to pound sand because the court system was told to pound sand and I was to be free of charges ? Wouldn’t that be fair ? I mean “whattabout” the Jan. 6 crowd , surely you’d understand ? ” What if ” we don’t need a court system anymore ? ” What if ” we just have a pay as you vote system ? ” What if ” we already have ?

” What if ” we just took that first step into replicating a third world nation ?

I’ve been suffering a great deal of envy as of late along with some mild feelings of relief. I’ve been watching the reconstruction of the 800 year old Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris on the internet and BBC since it burned down and it’s famous spire ruined five years ago . Representatives of a historical guild in France quoted to the press shortly after …

“We have the savoir faire in France to renovate Notre Dame either as it was or with innovation; the real difficulty is the main d’oeuvre, the workers. We don’t have enough young trained people to respond to the demand because manual work is undervalued. But if you learn one of these trades it’s a passport for life.”

Have you ever been good at something , I mean really good at something ? Even if you only thought you were good at it you’d understand that it’s a great feeling . I used to build masonry walls and arches of brick and stone in both new construction and restorations of old and even historical buildings. It was a skill hard earned and though my older hands no longer work like they used to because of it and I’d be glad to go back in time and do it all over again . I had an interest in what I did and took every chance to learn it’s history and methods from the past and even now I can reach behind me and pluck from the shelf a book or two that I used to gain some of that knowledge. Like Building Construction Before Mechanization published by the The Massachusetts Institute of Technology . Or my I.C.S. Reference Library on Brickwork Terra-Cotta and Tiling, Masonry, Carpentry and Roofing printed in 1908 that guided me through the rebuilding and restorations of many old buildings . I could see what I did every day it and touch it and knew it had a purpose … and I loved it .

I came to believe I was likely the end of an era and to some extent that may be so but the Notre Dame cathedral sacrificed itself in order to bring something back to life . A stone masonry school in Croatia offered it’s time , knowledge, skill along with it’s students to the project . A stone cutter from Australia went to help as did an American familiar with ancient carpentry skills and during those five years of restoration countless young people acquired the interest to learn those old skills and completed worthy apprenticeships towards putting an 800 year old building back together exactly as it was originally built all those centuries ago.

I’m relieved the world still has young people with that amount of heart . I’m envious it wasn’t me up on that scaffolding to help bring that building back to another timeless life.

It was warm today and pleasantly so . I wore my shorts and didn’t need to wear a sweater in the house for the first time in a while .

I’ve known cold . As a young kid I started out life in a London flat that had no central heating but instead burned coal in the living room until regulations forced the change to an electric heater. It was our only source of winter heat apart from the kerosene heater in the bathroom lit only when it was time for a bath. Later I spent my life in N.H. skating and skiing and catching fish through holes drilled through four feet of ice and on Sept. 17, 1973 I earned the title of Blue Nose given sailors who’ve manned a ship that’s crossed over the Arctic Circle . I’ve known cold.

But today was warm and pleasantly so and I wore my shorts and didn’t need to wear a sweater in the house and that’s been a rare treat as of late as its been the coldest winter I’ve experienced in Florida in 23 years. I was thinking that the rest of the world wouldn’t understand that nothing feels colder than a long term resident of Florida when the thermostat in the house drops to 62 degrees but I might have been wrong on that …..

Few days ago I followed a van with Ottawa licence plates  down the road and into the Walmart parking lot and pulled into the adjoining spot. We both got out of the vehicles at the same time and so I asked

” Down here to escape the heat are ya ? ”

” No shit , I’m freezing ” he said

And I didn’t feel so wimpy after all …

Found myself in the center lane of the interstate highway heading north to meet up with someone and as traffic was flowing along at under 7 mph I was getting a bit antsy . Not just the meet up but I had another in the afternoon with someone coming by to purchase a tool lot I’d advertized . At least I was traveling alone which meant I could ignore all the buttons on the radio which the wife has preset to memorize all her Latin Music stations and could go straight to National Public Radio and catch a story about this new thing skulking around …. artificial intelligence or ” AI ” . Now to me that seems a pretty contradictory pair of words and I’d say it easily rivals “alternative facts ” or even the pulled pork on Jewish Rye sandwich I built for lunch . I can remember when artificial meant something like a plastic flower or food coloring but now Artificial Intelligence is so smart you can build your very own pictures of incredible scenic vistas of places around the world with out even leaving your laptop . Makes me realize how much time and money I wasted on world travel to get my photo album together.

Traffic ground to a complete stop and as it did a very sharp and loud “DA Dunk” came from the front of the vehicle causing some momentary alarm on my part . I suppose I was the only one to notice it as all the other drivers around me never tore their eyes from their phones as they were busy ingesting their morning dose of Artificial Intelligence . Traffic finally moved and the incident forgotten as I made the meetup and was back home with enough time to build that pulled pork on Jewish Rye before the man came to buy my tools.

Now when we go buying our resale items the wife is overly fond of reminding me that I talk too much and I should just get my nose down and deal with the task of buying and forget about the socializing and I know she’s right . But the man who came in response to my ad for the tools had me beat hands down and in no time I’d just about heard the whole life story while his wife sat in the car playing with her phone…..

” We moved down from Minnesota four years ago but it’s not panning out and we’re selling the house and moving back so I don’t even know why I’m buying tools. Kids still live up north , we love to travel and have been to Georgia and South Carolina and made a lot of money on the stock market and did huge on the sale of two homes .”

By the time he was explaining his preference for the Chevy Silverado over the Dodge Ram my eyes were glossed over and my smile a frozen fake as I prayed he’d just cough up the $50 bucks and leave . And leave he did but not before parting with his $50 and a nugget of pure home grown artificial logic . He asked where I was from and and then if I made it back there often.

” Haven’t been north of Ocala in ten years ” I said and explained the wife and I own a home in South America and go there instead .

” Really ? whats that like ? ”

” Well it’s actually kind of fun, happy and upbeat with very affordable dentists and restaurants and Social Security can stretch pretty far ”

” Wow, that sounds really great , plus while you’re down there your not surrounded by all these immigrants.” he pointed out obviously thinking that sounded pretty good.

Now if that’s not a pretty good example of artificial analytical thought I don’t know what is

” Well…. I guess that’s right ” is the only response I could come up with and at this point held out my hand for his fifty bucks and helped him bring the tools to his car . That’s when I noticed the source of the previously mentioned ” Da Dunk” . Two dents and large paint chips on the hood my truck . Being the ever lucky guy it seems I can sit in four miles of bumper to bumper traffic with an average of 935 vehicles per mile and somehow drone shit drops from the sky and lands on me …..

Perusing the website of an Estate Sales company the night before made a few things very clear apart from the items I had interest in. One thing was more than clear and that was there were lots of items in the garage of the mornings sale that I wanted meaning  … lots of other guys would clearly want them too. I’d have to be on my toes and Johnny on the Spot next morning as those photo’s were likely to draw pickers from farther afield than usual . I parked the vehicle next morning forty minutes early and only two houses away in that very nice upper crustier neighborhood to stake my spot as number 7 in line just behind another regular. As is our usual we passed the time in front of that fine home with chat about past finds and items we seek. I mentioned the wife has had me looking for one of those small fireproof safes to store our important papers from fire and flood and so far have only found ones just a bit too small .

The garage turned out to be a very successful pick and though I didn’t score everything I wanted I did deem it a pick worthy of the 40 minute drive and 40 minute wait out in the cold . I paid up and safely stored my loot in the sold items area and entered the house to see what’s up. Lots of nice things but nothing for me until I entered the master bedroom to see a 24 x 18 x 18 fireproof safe sitting in the closet on a metal rack …. perfect . I countered the asking price and it was quickly accepted and I was a happy guy with the deal pending on the provision that the combination worked . It did work and so I placed the written combo into the safe and muscled the 106 lb. beast to the floor with a lot of help from gravity and abandoned it there to go seek a dolly.

There was a very nice dolly in the garage and so I went to retrieve it and wove my way back through the crowded house to retrieve my prize only to realize I’d locked the combination in the safe . As miracles do exist I remembered the first two numbers and slowly turned the dial eighty eight times and presto , it was open. Thinking this to be my lucky day I only made it as far as the bedroom door before both tires on the dolly pissed all their air out to rejoin the atmosphere making them a difficult roll across the expensive carpet in the long hall until reaching the very ornate hardwood floor of the great room . Here the wheels gave up rolling completely and as I closed in on the front door my fellow picker poked his head out from the door to the den to say …..

” I always knew you were a Crazy Bastard …. look what you did to the floor ”

Two thick wide rubber skid marks followed me all the way to the front door before succeeding in dropping my safe at the end of the driveway and returning the dolly to the garage with it’s two tires half off the rims . I gathered my loot from the sold items area and went to retrieve the truck and place it near the safe. A very nice young guy heading for the sale stopped and asked if he might help me lift it up to the tailgate and I was indeed grateful though I did warn it was a heavy beast. He brushed that off with the implication that I was just a worrisome old fart and we both lifted it to waist height . That’s when it slipped from his hands to narrowly miss his feet and come to a sudden stop hinge side on the concrete curb .

He said he was sorry and I said me too and we tried again with success. It’s still a very decent safe though not as handsome as it once was and it’s new found scars are now hiding in a closet again .

I was just asked if I was feeling lonely yet and do I get enough to eat as though I was a guy standing at the traffic light with a cardboard sign . In fact I’ve gained three pounds and I’ll have to check the denotation of lonely in the Webster’s before attacking part one of the questionnaire but I will admit it’s dead quiet in the house right now . The television hasn’t been turned on once in two weeks nor the radio that resides out in the garage where I spend a lot of my time . It feels like I’m hiding in the cabinet beneath the sink ….. and I always liked it there .

I think I’d traveled pretty far along in life before I came to the realization that perhaps it wasn’t everyone else in the world that wasn’t exactly normal and perhaps it might just be me . An old friend of my Mothers always commented on the amount of time I spent as a child playing alone and how I would hide in the cupboard beneath the sink when ever she or others would come to visit . She never could accept any of that as the behavior of a normal child and always inferred that there might be something wrong . I don’t think at that time it ever occurred to me that other children didn’t like to play alone or hide under the sink to avoid visitors and when I learned they didn’t I wondered what could be wrong with them. It never bothered Mom one bit to have abnormal children and as it turned out it never bothered me to be one . But as time went by I came to accept that my Mothers friend might be right .

I don’t hide under the sink anymore but the truth is that I still do hide . Over the years I’ve tended to roam and move to far away places and indulge hobbies that require no one’s company and participate in sports that require no other players . On occasion I still let the battery on the phone die in order to prevent unwanted intrusions . Oddly I married into a Latino family whose culture seems to dictate that a quiet moment alone is something to be avoided at all cost and I’ve heard them whisper to each other the Spanish word “esquizoide” when they thought I was out of earshot . I don’t know that I’d completely fit the description of schizoid but I still do love a moment or two alone to indulge my own self while fully understanding their closely social lives . They , however might never understand that right now I’ve been enjoying a much wanted early Christmas present I bought myself … a plane ticket for my wife .

After hearing all of this one would think that joining the U.S. Navy and shipboard life was a poor choice for a man like me and one would be correct . Some fifty years ago I gleefully left that military base for the last time with my DD-214 clutched tightly in my hand and recently had that same feeling as I drove away alone from the Miami International Airport though with a difference . The Navy was gone forever but I’ll be back to the Miami International Airport and I will be glad the day the wife comes home ……

……….just as long as it’s not right away

Are you old enough to remember when television was filmed and broadcast strictly in black and white ? I am . It was was wonderful and there was little need for color as black and white was simply good enough . When I first arrived in the United States as a young boy from Britain I was met with new and different experiences and while some of them made me want to go home some were definitely a delight, like American T.V. It was incredible for a young boy at that time to suddenly have three channels of exciting Westerns and cop shows, humorous cartoons and endless other adventures . All of them seemed to have a very common theme whether it was the Lone Ranger or Rocky and Bullwinkle.

It was was black and white era television that helped me transition into becoming what I felt then , and still feel now , was a real American . I grasped onto all the subtle lessons from those American T.V. shows about good verses evil, patriotism and honesty and right from wrong . I became an American in a time when T.V. cops were the good guys and bad guys were villains and the bad guys always lost. I totally embraced the Adventures of Superman and his fight to defend Truth, Justice and the American way.

Sixty plus years have passed since then and now our leadership uses it’s power to forgive any crime and uses it to the benefit only of  those who are subservient . Men like the thief Steve Bannon was pardoned a crime before even going to trial and numerous other convicted criminals set free in payment for loyalty. None of them would ever have survived the story lines of  black and white television and nor would the criminal who pardoned their crimes.

It’s Veterans Day today and I never met one person all day long that even acknowledged it, not one time . However I did read something today about the President Elect’s desire to pardon the January 6, rioters because they are …. Patriots ….. and that must be part of making America great again…. we can never go back to black and white again

and more’s the pity

When you set the house on fire do you get to become a hero for dialing 911 , does the arrival of the fire engines negate any responsibility that you and your Bic lighter may hold and does the fire department get blamed if they arrive too late to save the house ? … I’m just just askin’

Usually when someone finds out about our connections to Colombia the wife and I field the same old cliche questions about whether it’s safe to travel there or not. This week I was refreshed by a totally different though appropriate question when someone interestingly asked

” What do the Colombians think about the border crisis? ”

” Which border crisis , there’s or ours ? ” I asked

Like most Americans he seemed unaware that other nations may suffer an incursion on their frontier just like us and I was more than happy to offer a couple of barely known facts on the topic even though I realize that facts are generally meaningless as of late. He held a common belief that Colombia was urging migrants north on treks through the jungle thus effectively ridding themselves of a problem, and maybe they are . Just like flying them from Texas to Nantucket . For right now lets just talk about Venezuelans as they are one of the fastest growing groups of recent migrants and throw some numbers into the fray just for the sake of enlightenment . Present estimates put the amount of Venezuelans in the United States at around 545,000 . That may sound a lot even to a nation with a population of well over 334 million and it is, but little Colombia with its population of only 53 million is presently hosting some 2.8 million Venezuelans who have abandoned their homes to find refuge . 2.8 million in Colombia with another 3 million in Colombia’s neighboring country’s , Peru, Ecuador, Chile, Brazil, that are all suffering a border problem of their own and it’s likely they hold little sympathy for ours. And why should they ?

I have a Brother in Law in Colombia who has a disability and so attempts to support himself as best as he’s capable by selling coffee at the big park in the center of the city. He’s up early to make several thermos bottles of coffee to sell at about .20 cents a cup seven days a week. Historically his competition was a dozen other vendors hawking their coffee but the huge influx of Venezuelano’s has changed that. Each year I visit it is easy to see there are more and more Venezuelan coffee vendors trying to scratch a living out of .20 cents a cup . The Colombians are all very aware that the leadership in neighboring Venezuela have been poor stewards of their nations economy creating hardship across the neighboring border but one man selling empanada’s in the park enlightened me further

” It gets worse for everyone , them and us , every time your American President imposes more sanctions on Venezuela it forces more of them to come here . The economic sanctions  hurt them but it hurts Colombians too . Now there are so many of them here selling empanada’s it’s difficult for me to get by . ”

On paper the thought of helping the people of Venezuela rid themselves of an inefficient tyrant by helping destroy their economy might sound noble but it has one very serious drawback. It didn’t work. It only added to the reasons millions needed to escape the hardships and try to make it to the promised land of the U.S. border . It didn’t work now and after 60 years of the same tactics it’s proven a failure in Cuba helping create the need of Cubans to find our shores . Apparently we are slow learners and that perhaps a different tack would be better. Now the latest answer to the problem on our border is to deport en mass and ship them all back to the same unsolved problem they left which is the same problem we ourselves helped make worse . So back to square one and hope the wall works better next time because that’s what we just voted for , a feel good moment but not a solution .

So, back to the man’s question…

What does the average Colombian think of the U.S. border crisis ?

…… nothing , we’ve helped give them one of their own to think about

Well wouldn’t ya just know it, first time in my 69 years I actually came out of the closet and voted for a Democrat in a presidential election and it looks as though I’m about to get my hat handed to me. Now I didn’t cast that vote on any particular beliefs pertaining to the previous administration or any perceived accomplishments of their’s … it’s a lot more complicated than that . But now I’m facing a whole different source of uncertainty and confusion about what I’m supposed to do as a first time voter of a Democratic candidate ….. what are my responsibilities now ?

Should I wait until Biden announces it was a rigged election and promises proof that Mike Johnson’s wife owns the voting machines and had them repaired in Russia ? Should I wait until Biden refuses to leave office or should I just enlist in a local militia right away and start training for my over the top moment at the Capitol thus earning my title of Patriot and acquiring political prisoner status . I understand there will likely be a lot of openings for that position soon . As a new cultist I have lot’s of other questions ….

As I’m a blue collar pickup truck driver will I be required to parade around town with a giant FUCK TRUMP flag billowing from behind and don the uniform of a blue hat and DUMP TRUMP T shirt ? I don’t even know where to buy these items yet but I think I’ll start by only shaving every third day in order to get a feel for the part . I’m thinking it will likely be necessary to start spreading important information as well like the need to build little concrete bunkers as I live in Republican run Florida . We all know the Deep State will now direct the Democrats to send more hurricanes to our area in vengeance .

I’m not sure what we all thought was so good about the last Trump presidency as it looked like endless chaos to me and in all these years I can’t ever recall Mr. Trump say one good thing about America , not once ever and for a President , that’s a shame . But there is hope that this time it might be better , that perhaps during all the upcoming hiring and firing some past mistakes will be recognized and we can get Omarosa back in her advisory roll at the White House. Maybe this time we can entice Ivanka and Jarred back with a livable wage so we can once again enjoy the benefits of their invaluable input along with all the pardoned criminals and their expertise.

anyway you look at it ….. America deserves it

The lady who lets her dog urinate on my mailbox post every morning as they pass on their daily walk is talking to me again. I knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer this close to the election.

” I can’t wait to see those liars booted out of office ” she said . “Effing Dem’s are constant liars ”

It occurs to me on occasion that their are some very sound reasons why people believe the things they want to believe and as it turns out facts aren’t necessarily one of them. Hold that thought for a moment …

I think I started getting those ” Ya know …. wait a minute ” thoughts way back when we were being “informed ” Obama was a Muslim . Even with no plans of voting for him at that time my Conservative heart secretly knew that a guy who drank beer and ate pork rinds just wasn’t Muslim. Nor did I accept that he may have been born in Kenya and was planning on taking the oath of office on the Koran because I just knew it wasn’t true . So were sown the seeds of doubt followed by an endless row to hoe

I could likely provide a thousand examples but when the dog walker spoke what sprang to mind was when I first heard that a massacre at a school was a hoax perpetrated by “gun grabbers” or when Gen. Michael Flynn spread words from his brief position in Government that Democrats were led by a secret cabal of Satanist cannibalistic pedophiles operating a global child sex trafficking ring …. well , let’s just say I was a little doubtful …. no , let me take that back …. I had no doubt whatsoever I was being lied to . Just like I knew it when word spread that “they” were going use the Covid vaccine to plant chips into us … some things go far beyond the ” Ya know … wait a minute ” but we still don’t question.

Call me gullible if you will, but never for a single moment did I accept the election fraud theory, not even when promised that irrefutable proof would be shown next week … for years . Nor forgive the damage it caused. Describing the scaling of walls and crashing barriers while attacking police prior to smashing the windows and doors of the capitol building as a peaceful protest by tourists exercising their rights is likewise a bit of a stretch in my mind . Can we really be expected to believe that stealing classified government documents and trying to conceal them when caught truly be considered doing nothing wrong and not have that ” wait a minute moment”. Since I’d be in prison just for thinking about it I’d have to say, not to me , but then it looks like I’m in a minority on that one and I’m getting my shoe’s pissed on again like I’m a mailbox post.

On the dog walkers second repeat of ” They lie constantly , the effin Dem’s are liars. They lie about everything ” I think she was surprised when I agreed heartily that she is probably correct, and then I blew it, just like I always do ….

” I know… the lying bastards have tried denying immigrants ate everyone’s dogs and cats in Springfield Ohio and we all know they did right ? I’ve even heard the Dem’s are now actually claiming they can’t control the weather, nor direct the paths of hurricanes to Republican area’s … can you believe it ? ” ….. ” I mean … wait a minute ”

…. and I thought I was making a very truthful statement but I’m guessing from the frown that I’ll likely be getting the cold shoulder again for another three months or so . Now, if you held that thought like I asked above I’m ready to give a prime example of why facts have such little importance on our beliefs .

Why just the other day my Physician informed me it is of great importance that I cut my daily beer consumption down to around 25 % of present intake. She mentioned the possibility of early dementia and the fact that I have an enlarged heart chamber as well as  numerous other reasons . ” Ya know … wait a minute ” It’s my firm belief that that no other diagnosis could be more worthy of a second opinion …. after all, 75% less of the daily average is a very serious cut to a very serious beer drinker regardless of any imagined facts or benefits .

… I think my Physician must be a Democrat and her advice will need to be ignored ,
after all, how can I trust the opinion of a medical professional that just might be a Democrat ?

I go to a barber shop that opens at 8 a.m. and somehow that means that when I arrive at 7:50 a.m. I’ll generally find there is already someone in the chair and others quickly follow me in . It’s a place that still remains predominantly an all male hang out and barber shops have given me endless topics to mull over during the past ten years. That’s when I first started noticing a change in their ambiance . That’s when I began to realize that all these retired guys didn’t need an early haircut because of an upcoming busy day , they needed to get back home to begin the day long News Marathons that have become such an important part of daily life.

My freshest haircut turned out a rather unique experience for these present times , it was like a flash back into a different time , back to an era that I can now barely remember . The man that followed me through the barber shop door had been waiting out in the car and another car was pulling in as we both sat down to wait .

” Did you want to go ahead of me Buddy , you were waiting outside first ? ” I offered

“No” he said … ” I’m not here for a haircut , I just came in to bullshit.”

I immediately thought to myself , great, this is where I pick up yet another typical barber shop story from listening to the beliefs that Democrats can control the weather or FEMA wants to rob people of their properties to get at the lithium buried there and such . Thankfully immigrants eating our pets is already old news and likely won’t need to be re hashed, so to speak . On a whim I broke the ice by commenting on the Boston Bruins T shirt worn by the man presently in the chair and he perked right up.

” That’s my home town ” he said and told us about once meeting a Bruins goalie who happens to share my own last name . He described ball games at Fenway Park with glee and I mentioned I’d once met Carl Yastremski and that I went to high school with Baltimore pitcher Mike Flanagan . I followed up with the story of my Father who will only ever watch a ball game that the Red Sox were playing in …. and then sit and root for the other team . The Bullshitter chimed in with his claim of watching the Angels play whenever he liked as he had two cousins who were employed at Angels Stadium in Anaheim and the last guy in the door had a nephew who played in the Little League World Series some years ago.

His haircut finished the Bruins T shirt got up and sat right back down in a waiting chair to continue the conversation as I took his place to begin my haircut . I’ve never really been a sports fan but I definitely became one for at least a half an hour , and it was nice . It was four guys and a barber laughing and enthused just like it used to be some years ago and with less than two weeks from an election not a single comment on political issues was mentioned , not even once .

I do so hope this is a sign of things to come …..