Found myself in the center lane of the interstate highway heading north to meet up with someone and as traffic was flowing along at under 7 mph I was getting a bit antsy . Not just the meet up but I had another in the afternoon with someone coming by to purchase a tool lot I’d advertized . At least I was traveling alone which meant I could ignore all the buttons on the radio which the wife has preset to memorize all her Latin Music stations and could go straight to National Public Radio and catch a story about this new thing skulking around …. artificial intelligence or ” AI ” . Now to me that seems a pretty contradictory pair of words and I’d say it easily rivals “alternative facts ” or even the pulled pork on Jewish Rye sandwich I built for lunch . I can remember when artificial meant something like a plastic flower or food coloring but now Artificial Intelligence is so smart you can build your very own pictures of incredible scenic vistas of places around the world with out even leaving your laptop . Makes me realize how much time and money I wasted on world travel to get my photo album together.
Traffic ground to a complete stop and as it did a very sharp and loud “DA Dunk” came from the front of the vehicle causing some momentary alarm on my part . I suppose I was the only one to notice it as all the other drivers around me never tore their eyes from their phones as they were busy ingesting their morning dose of Artificial Intelligence . Traffic finally moved and the incident forgotten as I made the meetup and was back home with enough time to build that pulled pork on Jewish Rye before the man came to buy my tools.
Now when we go buying our resale items the wife is overly fond of reminding me that I talk too much and I should just get my nose down and deal with the task of buying and forget about the socializing and I know she’s right . But the man who came in response to my ad for the tools had me beat hands down and in no time I’d just about heard the whole life story while his wife sat in the car playing with her phone…..
” We moved down from Minnesota four years ago but it’s not panning out and we’re selling the house and moving back so I don’t even know why I’m buying tools. Kids still live up north , we love to travel and have been to Georgia and South Carolina and made a lot of money on the stock market and did huge on the sale of two homes .”
By the time he was explaining his preference for the Chevy Silverado over the Dodge Ram my eyes were glossed over and my smile a frozen fake as I prayed he’d just cough up the $50 bucks and leave . And leave he did but not before parting with his $50 and a nugget of pure home grown artificial logic . He asked where I was from and and then if I made it back there often.
” Haven’t been north of Ocala in ten years ” I said and explained the wife and I own a home in South America and go there instead .
” Really ? whats that like ? ”
” Well it’s actually kind of fun, happy and upbeat with very affordable dentists and restaurants and Social Security can stretch pretty far ”
” Wow, that sounds really great , plus while you’re down there your not surrounded by all these immigrants.” he pointed out obviously thinking that sounded pretty good.
Now if that’s not a pretty good example of artificial analytical thought I don’t know what is
” Well…. I guess that’s right ” is the only response I could come up with and at this point held out my hand for his fifty bucks and helped him bring the tools to his car . That’s when I noticed the source of the previously mentioned ” Da Dunk” . Two dents and large paint chips on the hood my truck . Being the ever lucky guy it seems I can sit in four miles of bumper to bumper traffic with an average of 935 vehicles per mile and somehow drone shit drops from the sky and lands on me …..
