“Router beetz “
“ Router bits…sure, they are right over here “ I said while leading them to the display of router bits of two leading manufacturers
And with an impatient roll of the eyes the leader again says….
“ No…router beetz,… router beetz…. para corta.drywall”
So in my obviously inadequate Spanish I attempted to explain that these were in fact router bits and a router was not generally used to cut drywall. During this the smallest of the gang decided my language skills were just too funny and continued with his laughter and rude comments at every opening of my semi bi lingual mouth.
“ This gringo speaks Spanish like an imbecile” he constantly mentioned to his friends…..all the while making no effort to stifle his constant, and taunting laugh at both my grammar and accent.
As a good employee of HD I put up with the endless insults until after we had ascertained that the router in question was in fact not a router, but a Roto Zip tool. Then having performed my duty to HD and clinched the sale of appropriate Roto Zip bits I felt it was time to perform my duty to my fellow Americans. I explained to the semi literate uninvited low paid job stealing guest to my country that I at least showed him the respect of attempting to help him in his own tongue as he obviously couldn’t help himself in mine ……and then with the menace learned from years in a tough guy environment I then leaned forward to add quietly……
“ How’s Your English …bitch , hmmmm ? ….
I then advised him he’d be wise to pay for the drill bit set surreptously slipped into a back pocket. Smiley stopped smiling for the first time at this point obviously not taking his first lesson in English well. And I hope it was a lesson and not just a lesson in language skills. I’m hoping an uninvited and disrespectful intruder of my home has learned that not all Americans are going to accept what we accept with quiet grace.
I found the drill bits stashed halfway to the cash register , obviously important enough to steal…but not enough to buy.
