The past couple of weeks the mornings ritual has had me skulking silently through the darkness to turn on the coffee maker whilst avoiding the disturbance of the large group of the wifes vacationing family. That was almost impossible this particular morning as half way to my destination I placed my famous left foot onto the upright left foot of a very cute hard plastic doll. The consequent impalement forced a lateral side step placing the right foot upon a paper plate such was the home of a slice of cake. As the abundant icing was forced between my toes like the eruption from a can of Cheeze Whiz I felt guiltless thinking…almost aloud….they have got to go .
This story actually began some three months ago when the wife uttered the three words in her command of the English language that can instantly place that ball in the pit of my stomach. You know that feeling you had as a kid when you were sent to the Principals office….you just instinctively knew….this can’t possibly go well…..
“My families coming “….were the three words spoken so low and conspiratorial it forced me to ask it be repeated. And she went on to explain that they had things to do in Orlando and were planning to hit Vegas and in between they might spend a couple of days with us. This, of course caused the big stomach ball to shrink to a small stomach ball…..However, the day they landed in Miami it was a rented car bee line for us and with in the hour of arriving they were off to the local Publix grocery store to return with over $300 bucks worth of groceries. Obviously the “couple of days in between” was a mistake…a miscommunication or in all likely hood, a simple bald faced lie on the wife’s part.
Colombian visitors to the United States like three things very much…they like to sit on the beach, they like to go to the mall, and far better than a trip to Disney World is a day at Walmart. Mall trips are special as every one enters the mall and instantly scatters to the four winds with out a plan of reuniting in the foreseeable future.
“ Stay with her “ my wife told me as one of them veered off to ogle the earings at Macy’s…”She won’t know where we are.” Well I won’t know where you are either I thought while ignoring this request/demand. The fact that they lack cell phones means you are lucky to gather the crowd together to leave in under six hours. Once in a while small clumps of the gang will stumble upon each other and hang out in wait for the others. Then in impatience some of those will decide a search party needs head out to look for the others I find it interesting that certain health problems will prevent certain family members from gimping around a museum or park for two hours….but a six hour mall marathon is no problem….day after day.
Private time is something long cherished since my days at sea long ago and eight adults and a two year old in my 1150 sq. feet of house can bring back some of the old angst I felt back then. I’m tired now… three weeks tired of barbecues at 8:45 pm…..making French toast and BLTs at 9:00 pm…..listening to eight people speaking Spanish at the same time as the radio and TV blared in ever increasing volume…also in Spanish. Tired of a two year olds bacon dripping hand prints 28 inches from the floor around the inside perimeter of the house.
They are wonderful and I love em…and they are always welcome ….but they left and I’m glad and as they did I stood at the end of the drive with a tear in my eye……
And joy in my heart
