- Did ya hear Bowser moved out?
Now I’ll tell ya this but ya really gotta keep it under your hat. My wife finds out and I’ll be listening to incessant Spanish at a much higher decibel than I’m usually accustomed to and I’m accustomed to plenty. Anyway we have this turd that lives diagonally over the road from us and next door to our snowbird friends from New York. I don’t know how the turd could put up with it because I couldn’t….its the dog. The dog has barked and whined 24/7 for over six weeks and the racket finds its way loudly through our open windows. That is not an exaggeration….the poor mutt was fenced in the back yard and ignored and I swear to God that sonofabitch barks while gobbling down his Walmart brand dry dog food.
The other night I got a call from our friends in New York to ask a favor…..could I go fasten some plywood over the sliding doors as another hurricane was imminent. So over I go and while there I couldn’t help but notice that no one was home at the turds…..except the bark machine. Well I felt bad for Bowser and went back home for a slice or two of bologna and frisbeed one over the fence. I’ll be dipped…..it stopped a friggin bark dead in its tracks for the very first time in six weeks. The solution to the neighborhoods problems is distributed by a gentleman named Oscar Mayer.
Well after hurriedly finishing the project I then opened the gate and waved the reserve slice of bologna like a red flag at a bull and then tossed it in the back of the truck. Bowser followed like a fighter jet on a mission and I slammed the tailgate quickly on his behind….trapping him under the tonneau cover. On the way to Bowsers new neighborhood he never opened his mouth and once released he sauntered off without giving me so much as a second glance.
Now I’m getting the look from the turd…..that ” I know it was you” look. And of course, its returned with that ” I know you know it was me, but I don’t give a shit” look. I’m sure Bowser is happier now………. I certainly know I am.
I’ll let ya know if the guy gets another pet,
get back at ya soon
