As you know I’ve entered a new career position in the plumbing department of HD. Now after 35 years in masonry there are aspects of that trade in which I can definitely walk the walk….talk the talk. In fact I have been regarded as the King in a part of the country where people are very good at what I did . Suddenly….I’m a low wage noob. And so, I have no other option….. I just gotta have fun since I can‘t be helpful.
“ Ya gotta 90 degree shrub spray nozzle with a ¾ to ½ male to female adapter to go on a 6 inch riser and preferably by Orbitz?”
………I’ve got a box of em Sir” I respond with authority…………………
“ Well………where are they? “ and this is where the King shit falls apart.
“ Ain’t gotta clue….but you can bet I’m more than willing to earn my pennies helping you look……what color are they? ” and at this point I start proudly flashing my IN TRAINING badge to extremely long faces. You see, I’ve learned a lot in a week. My first couple of days were spent helping out in Garden Supply and apart from the animals in the “mulch on sale” line people who come to the garden department are content….they got nothing on thier minds but growing flowers and other happy shit….but plumbing?…man walks into a plumping department its because he’s got a fucken problem…..and frankly…..at sub $10 p.h. I don’t give a shit.
Actual fact is that sales in plumbing have taken a healthy spike since I’ve been in the department and I’ve been more than happy to accept my share of back patting……no one has mentioned however another interesting factoid…..
As a noob, part of my afternoon schedule is to go to the returns counter to pick up the plumbing returns cart and put all returned items back on the shelves. My first day there was a half a cart….but now I have to hustle a little bit as there are three full carts a day of returns and I‘m starting to recognize a lot of them.
Its getting easier to choose a customer to help as well. They come in very distinct …..areas of need. There is the real plumbers…they know what they want, where it is and are not about to let themselves be victimized by any shenanigans from me. I like em. Then the husband / wife teams who look as stopped up as the toilets they’ve left behind at home who all but go into anxiety attacks on my floor when the need of a tool is mentioned. Sprinkler people….these are to be avoided at all cost. These are men who have spent six years running little tubes to every nook and cranny of their properties to which they ceaselessly experiment with various types, styles and brands and methods of getting water to plants and or lawns. They sometimes band together to swap info and you’d think it was an HO Train collectors meeting……and then….the inventors. These are people who want to build furniture out of PVC, people who have no idea what they want or why they want it, people wanting little valves and lines for compressed air operated sex toys for the waterbed back home…no lie.
Truth be known, I find most plumbing customers to be a pain in the ass and so spend a great deal of time being extremely helpful by leaning forward and in a low conspirital tone mention that Ace has what they need and they have a great plumber there. This always brings me a hearty handshake and a loud “Thank you, you have been very helpful”
I’m pleased to say the Manager has witnessed many of these grateful handshakes and is already convinced he’s hired a plumbing Ace…..and maybe he has
