The wife pay’s little attention to what I write here and that’s just as well as I sometimes mention something about her . But once in a while she is a little curious ….
” Have you been writing anything funny on your blog ? ” she asked this morning
” No , what the hell has there been that’s even remotely humorous to write about lately ? ” was my response
” You make people at the yard sales laugh every time ” she said
And she’e right, I do. I make people laugh in public . And so I ask her what is the response I get every time someone asks ” How’s it going ? ” and I tell them … ” Terrible ”
” They laugh ” she says . And she’s right again . Tell someone you’re miserable and it will bring a smile to their face every single time.
So I guess in effort of some form of humor I could tell the story about $ 8,500 in medical insurance co-pay over the past 5 months along with the washing machine gasping it’s last breath, or the burst water heater and the cracked toilet tank . With great fortune the very strange and loud noises coming from the refrigerator ceased , at least for now , only to be offset by the A/C in the F 150 going belly up . Then the rollers on the sliding patio door ….. stopped rolling .
” There you go Hon …. that should have the readers rolling in the aisles ”
But she wasn’t listening as she was busy placing the lid over tonight’s slow cooked meal just in time to catch the the latest version of a Colombian soap opera that starts today . And so I headed out to the local ABC LIQUOR STORE to pick up my supply of Six a Day Multi Vitamins and on the way there I spied a LOST DOG sign attached to one of the neighborhood stop signs and In short order I stood in line at the ABC to listen to the man two people ahead mention to the cashier …
” They’re eating dogs … can you believe this shit ? frigging immigrants are eating dogs ! ” … says he
I thought about what he’d said just a few minutes later as I passed that LOST DOG sign again on the way home …. Jesus …please , don’t let it be true . I arrived back home just in time to catch the wife using a commercial break to spoon a taste test of tonight’s supper to her lips and I nervously moved in close . Now the wife has long maintained that since I had the Covid I’ve lost a great deal of my olfactory senses and perhaps that’s true . But I will stand by this …
….. I swear to Christ there wasn’t even a subtle hint of the aroma of Labrador on her immigrant breath ….
If only this was funny ….
