It’s a simple question I suppose and the first time I ever heard it so long ago I had no idea how relevant it would be to a mans life. A simple question that that could have been a warning of what lie ahead if only I’d taken heed. And not just just for me, but a large part of the male population of the world. The very first time I heard it was on a black and white television as back then there were things that were quite simply, as simple as black and white .
The three Stooges used the line numerous times in their long running slapstick comedy that I enjoyed so much as a kid and in one of the famous shorts by the trio Moe Howard played a door to door census taker asking the resident of a home that important question ….
” Are you married or happy ? ”
The wife takes a break from ceaseless nagging for an hour or so once a week while she becomes engrossed in one of her other fetishes . Toenails. Yep she has this thing about toenails and puts great effort into hers religiously every single week. The significance of this was lost on me 30 odd years ago when I dropped a 4 1/2 lb. brick right on top of the nail of the large toe of the left foot. After it stopped being black a slight discoloration appeared on one side and over the course of time this discoloration spread across the nail to become a classic case of toe nail fungal discoloration. I’ve heard about this nail at least once every single day of married life since then as it is obviously a source of angst to her with the nail fetish. Then one day the same discoloration began on the nail of the big toe on the other foot creating a matching pair to effectively double the nagging about it to the point of forcing me to rarely remove a sock in the house. I frequently consider leaving them on even in the shower , out of sight out of mind.
On our last trip to South America while attempting to either kick the cat or the large cockroach it was chasing I stubbed the right toe and that burl wood looking nail came right off in its entirety both complete and intact. I immediately painted the top of the toe with an anti fungal cream for two days and now five months later the nail has grown back to near full length both pink and happy and as healthy as all it’s neighbors are on the same foot. Logic , should it actually exist, would dictate this might cut the nagging … well at least the toe nail nagging …. in half. But that is not the case .
So Moe, Larry and Curly … were you wise beyond your years ?
” Soitenly”
