Just this past week I related to a friend a story of my past that I would normally not mention and I’m now thinking that I likely jinxed myself by telling it . That story was about a minor surgery I once had some four decades ago which resulted in my usually urinating in two very distinct streams at the same time. One to the left of me the other to the right .
There… it’s out now and everyone knows . I’ll tell ya this did force some changes in style as you might well imagine, depending of course on how powerful the need to go is . So when I “really do” have a need to go it’s prudent to either choose which stream hit’s the target, stand sideways to an elongated style toilet bowl… or just drop my pants and sit .
Recently, along with my newly needed blood pressure medicine the Dr. also prescribed some kind of “water pill” that is meant to cause an increase in the frequency of urination to help the body rid itself of unwanted salts . I did try to explain that I’m a beer drinker but that fell upon deaf ears . Now instead of waking only once in the middle of a sound sleep to relieve myself I’m at it three times a night . Like last night ….
I had to install a new toilet today and in fact have just returned from the trash dump where I dropped the cardboard boxes it came in along with the old toilet. Deep into last night and on the third trip I sat in the dark and upon completing a double spreader into the oval office I attempted to stand up rather quickly only to have my underpants catch the end of the seat . Being quickly catapulted back to seating my back struck the toilet tank with enough force to crack it at the mounting bolts with the sound of water trickling to the floor making me want to go yet again ….
