I once worked with a man named Albert . Albert the Inupiat Eskimo from Teller Alaska and I’ve mentioned him on this blog before . Mention of him will show up again later in this story…….
Few years back I was home alone in Florida as the wife was visiting family south. While at the local shooting range one Saturday a friend gifted me some 17 – 18 fruit pies . Microwavable with generic Dollar type store labels.
Homeward bound with my treasure I pulled into my street and came upon a gaggle of the local youth about to shoot some hoops and stopped to ask …
” Need some snacks guys ? ” All hands reached through the window for some free pies, cherry being faved.
Not long after, my door bell rang and a very pleasant and polite Mother from down the street asked If I was the one handing out pies. Unafraid , I confessed I was.
“Rich please don’t do that, we are trying to see they live a healthy life style “.
I promised that I had no intention of ever making a habit of this while biting my tongue over the fact that her 12 and 13 year old’s already weighed more than most military recruits. But her obvious concern did cause me to break out another pie and have a closer scrutiny at the ingredients…. total fat 17g 26% …. saturated fat 48%………
My God, the only redeeming thing was the 22% sodium which might possibly raise the blood pressure high enough to pump this stuff through the arteries. Though obviously more dangerous than cigarettes these pies come with no government warning label. Nothing at all to warn of the dangers of consumption. Nothing to inform those poor unsuspecting, expectant mothers of the possibility of birthing a 7lb. 8 oz. glob of fat. How could a “friend’ have foisted such a dangerous product on me ?
Albert the Eskimo used to talk about the consumption of walrus fat and seals and whatever.
“High fat content can help you create much needed body heat in the Arctic” he said. Surely we of the tropics have little need for food products that have a higher fat content than walrus blubber and so that brings me to the possibility of a new “green” business venture directed at those up north ……..bumper stickers……
” Save a Seal… Eat a Pie “
