There have been numerous occasions over the past year or so where my neighbor and I have come nose to nose while still unable to see eye to eye. The reason being is that I live in Florida and Florida is the land of the yapping fucken dog. There are other dogs in the neighborhood but none have the stamina of the dogs across the fence, little Izak and Abbie. Those two little fuckers can….and frequently do….bark nonstop for three to four hours at a time.
Squirrels send them into a mental frenzy and hours long nonstop marathon of yap and bark. So do pedestrians , kids on bikes , a simple leaf blown across the yard….. or me. I’ve explained my neighbor in no uncertain terms that enough is enough and if he can’t train his animals…I’m more than willing.
Sunday I walked into the back yard to find myself stared down by a very large Boxer type dog with a tail.
” Who are you ?” I asked.
The tail wagged in answer as the neighbor came out to inform me that…
“This is Cooper …isn’t he nice?”
And he went on to explain that he just couldn’t train little Abbie and as she was such a nuisance to the neighbors he got rid of her. He also explained that poor little Izak still needed company and so….enter Cooper, stage right. Cooper it turns out is a quick study and within twenty four hours little Izak has taught him that going berserk and bark marathons are the normal procedure in his new home.
It would seem I’ve seen my last tail wag from Cooper as well. Now, only days later it’s a long low angry growl with a straight tail. Then a sudden eruption into a nutso attempt to get over the fence every time I go out to grill or water a pepper plant . He’s already close to succeeding and I fear it’s only a matter of time before I’m sharing space in my yard with Cooper.
So I now listen to a shrill little yapper and a deep bass big dog bark…. constantly. Seems the Third World is right…. God intended dogs be food items
