I hadn’t noticed the approach of the Big Box customer when suddenly ….
“Do you think this lubricant has a strong aroma?” This is what I heard as an aerosol can was thrust before my eyes as I toiled over an intricate order of windows and doors on the computer screen.
“My wife can’t abide chemical smells. I need to lubricate my sliding patio doors but it mustn’t smell … she doesn’t like smells, she says they are an irritant.”
Being a good employee of the Big Box where I spend my days I held back and didn’t express my total understanding of irritants. Instead I took hold of the can and twisted off the cap to do some exploratory research by spraying some into the cap…. and beyond. Not only did the product prove itself to be odiferous….it put dark speckled stains over the top of my light colored soft leather shoe. I knew right away those speckled stains would never disappear….and I knew right away that a seed had just been planted.
Three weeks later while on lunch break I found myself in the men’s room stepping back from the urinal at precisely the same moment as did my neighboring urinal user. Like practiced choreographers we both stepped back, left foot first while right thumb and fore finger tugged the zippers sky ward and on impulse I proclaimed ….
“Man…. you splashed my shoe.”
And staring at my shoe the poor victim proclaimed his most sincere apologies.
“I am really sorry, this is horrible. Buddy I had no idea. Please …I am very sorry.”
“I’m just messing with you Man, those are really oil stains.” Is what I confessed as the look turned stern and disbelieving .
Suddenly I was confronted with a question as the intensity in his eyes made evident his confusion and anger.
“Why would you do something like this?”
And so he stormed out before I could answer. I stood there washing my hands and used the mirror to look myself in the eye as I asked that very same question ….
“Why would you do something like that?”
But deep down I knew why ……
I just needed this story to tell
