I was a smoker then and so I flicked my ash into the tall chrome airport ash tray while awaiting a flight in an airport in India. Instantly a large flock of disturbed gnat like insects erupted from it to converge upon my head. This brought great laughter and the opening to conversation with a wonderful elderly English couple sitting nearby who were also attempting to escape the sub continent.
Later, upon returning from “excusing herself” the elderly lady leaned in close and with her beautiful British accent whispered some sage advice….
“ Oooh Luv…wattever you do….don’t go to the toilet.”…….
But….I’ve got to go to the toilet is what I thought. And so, though armed with the advice offered by one older and wiser I did eventually have to “excuse” myself.
The old lady was friggin right…I shouldn’t have gone to the toilet. My arrival at the men’s room taught me something instantly…..people steal toilet paper. This does however encourage a small business entrepreneurial spirit to flourish, sans tax and one would think the Republican party originated in Bombay. For in the men’s room , in lieu of toilet paper, I discovered an old lady selling pages from a magazine for Rupee’s .
So…this begs the question…..
“ Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with the cover of a National Geographic magazine ? “
Well , having experience , I’ll tell ya…it ain’t happening effectively. Ya gotta make a scraper out of it and hope for the best.
The coming election sort of reminds me somehow …of sitting in an airport….somewhere in India.
